Tuesday, 30 October 2012


Won't it be nice to pay back your cheating spouse in his or her own coin? That will feel good, right? But what if by the end of the day, the expected feeling of satisfaction is missing, does your act of cheating back on your partner yield any justification? Let's consider the following scenario.

Kemi just found out that her husband of three years had been cheating on her for a year now with his ex-girlfriend. She mistakenly stumbled on some text messages exchanged between them on his phone. She is furious and felt betrayed. Unable to keep the shock to herself, she attacked her husband as a way of confrontation. Calling him names and accusing him of betraying her trust in him. Instead of getting a repentant husband, she rather got an unremorseful husband, and this made her angrier. After all the time and energy she had invested in their marriage and her reward is cheating??? The shock of this sudden revelation got her festering with anger inside. It was still unbelievable that her husband would cheat on her after everything they had been through together. Each night as she lay beside him, she wondered how he could still sleep so soundly while she nurtures the hurt of his betrayal. It seems so unfair. He should be worried too. If he is not feeling bad about it, then she should make him pay one way or the other. The pain and anger inside of her is building up inside and she needed to vent it out somehow but don't know how.

The only way she feels she would be even with her husband is if she gives him a taste of his own pudding: cheat on him.

Mike is also entertaining the idea of cheating on his girlfriend whom he suspects is having a secret affair with her boss in the office. Though he hadn't caught them red-handed but her attitude towards him had changed. She no longer respect his opinions and was always with her boss; either on phone or in the office. The wonderful presents and tips her boss sent to her confirmed his worst fears that they are indeed having an affair.
Feeling hurt and used, Mike feels there was no need trying to work on the relationship, he will probably have an affair too to feel good.
Is this really a wise idea?

At first, it feels great to pay back cheating with cheating but the end product is what matters.
If you cheat on your cheating partner, you might feel good. He cheats, I cheat. It becomes a game or competition, who will surrender.
It will also give you an air of freedom. You feel empowered. Why should I be the one to condone his/her cheating. If they are not feeling remorseful about it, then I should do the same.
These are all wonderful momentary feelings
If by the end of the day, you don't get justification of the hurt you feel inside, then you are back to square one.
No one likes to be cheated on and we(women) are tired of hearing it's the man's world to cheat. Cheating is bad for relationships, and enough of the "it's a mistake" because we know it's actually a choice.

Learning how to deal with a cheating spouse is imperative if you want to have a long lasting relationship. Cheating back on your partner will only aggravate the matter and if the truth be told, there is no actual good feeling about it.

For you to overcome this problem, you might want to discuss it with your partner and let them know how you feel about it. If it's too unbearable for you to bear, let him give you time and space to think over it.

The next step is to make a decision, which is either to help your partner overcome it or to go your separate ways. I hope you choose the former. Relationships or marriages don't have to end in cheating. There should be room for second chance unless your partner is a total jerk.

Once you've made up your mind on what to do, then you have to make an agreement with your partner to help you make the relationship better by putting a stop to their affair. This will help the healing process better.

Cheating back on your partner doesn't make you powerful or in control. All you end up doing is getting more hurt. Instead of cheating back on your partner, look for ways to improve your relationship.

Learn to love and appreciate your partner if you have stopped doing that.

Think of romantic ways you can get him/her connected back to you. Go on a date or plan some get- together that will remind him/her of the good times you once shared.

Open up your communication lines. Learn to communicate with your partner at all times. This will help in rebuilding the lost trust.

Remember, forgiveness heals faster than resentment. To err is human, to forgive is divine. Never pay back with cheating. It will only hurt you more.

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Monday, 29 October 2012

Help!!! I'm afraid of men...

Dear Vay,

It's been a while I have been in a good relationship. After going through series of relationship, I'm left with the notion that every man is a monster. You may think I'm a bit too harsh but the men I have dated so far gave me a hard knock on my head(pun intended). The last guy I dated left me because I refused to have sex with him. I know pre-marital sex is no longer a big deal but sex to me means more than the thrusting and the momentary pleasure. The one before him lied to me about his marital status and nearly ruined my life.

The uncertainty, the lies, the betrayal got me running away from men. Is there really a good man out there or are we just deceived that good men actually exist?
Or are the heart of men desperately wicked? Why can't a man treat a woman kindly?
So much violence, mistrust, and emotional abuse in relationships nowadays. Even men of God divorce their wives. Who is safe then from this evil men parading themselves everywhere? Please I want to meet a good man. And by good I mean "good" in all ramifications.
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Wednesday, 24 October 2012

Touch A Cell Dance-a-thon 2012

SAMI and Progeny foundation presents to you the yearly Touch a Cell Dance-a-thon which will be taking place tomorrow, the 25th of Oct., 2012. Touch a Cell Dance-a-thon is a dancing competition among youths and secondary schools with the aim of creating sickle cell awareness. There will be free Health Check, Genotype Screening, sickle cell talks and more.
Artistes such as Vector, Phenom,  Ambassage, Tolu (Project Fame), Jufex, Debbie, Da Soul Xplorers and DJ Bammie will be performing at the event.
Venue: Kernel St Park, off Amosu St, off  Bode Thomas, By UBA, Surulere, Lagos..
Time:  10am
This event is also supported by NBC, Genotype Foundation, Unique Health Consult, Mona Mathews, Genie Infotech, Expand Press, Strikt Music, We Think Alike Media, SPL and  Tripple O Ent.  
Let’s dance for a change!!!!

Thursday, 18 October 2012

Will a woman's love cure my heartbreak from men?

I got this message from a reader on BBM and she wants your advice. Personally, I'm indifferent to lesbianism. But I do think that heartbreaks in relationships is not gender based. Anyway, read and do please give her an advice...

Hi Vay,
I need an advice. I'm thinking of becoming a lesbian. I have been through a lot of heartbreaks from men that can last me for a lifetime, and I'm tired of it all. I can't take the pain anymore. I feel having a girlfriend as a lover will do me more good since she is a woman like me, I think I can deal with the package.
I have only been with a woman once and I liked it. But this time I want to have a relationship with a woman. Simply put, I want to be a lesbian. But I'm scared. My religion forbids it. I'm also scared of what society will think of me. Please I need an advice from anyone. Thank you.

Wednesday, 17 October 2012

When attraction becomes distraction

Getting attracted to someone other than your partner is not a big deal but how you handle that attraction is.
It's common to feel attracted to the new girl in the office or to your boss, it's natural. We deal with attractions daily in our lives and often times it's not based on physical appearance alone, it could be character or intelligence or other qualities.
Managing this attraction outside your relationship is a big issue for some couples. Attractions could lead to distractions which could lead to affairs and this may eventually ruin your relationship.

Monday, 15 October 2012

Is it wrong to date my ex's sister

A friend of mine on BBM was chatting with me over the weekend about his dilemma and would want to get readers opinion on the above subject.

Hi Vay,
Please I would like to know if it is wrong to date my ex's sister. You see, I secretly dated this young lady two years ago. We had a wonderful relationship but my problem with her was that she was too cagey. At a point, I felt too suffocated and had to break up with her to breathe some fresh air. We stayed in the same neighbourhood but since our relationship was unknown to others, we saved ourselves the public pity.

Recently, her elder sister has been fond of me. You know how it is in the estate; we are like a small family unit. We met at a supermarket and we got talking. She will call me late in the evening for a stroll and I realised I like her. She was funny, lovely, silly at times but more matured than her younger sister.

I once made a move on her but apologised later. She wasn't miffed a bit. But the problem is that she is now making a move on me. Just yesterday(Thursday) she took my BB charger cos she forgot hers in the office. When I went to her place to collect it, she tried to kiss me and caress me but I stopped her. I don't know why but I guess I felt guilty loving her when she is not aware that I dated her younger sister two years ago.

She was in the university back then and my ex relocated to abuja few months ago.

I don't know if I should tell her about my relationship with her sister but I'm scared I might lose her cos I really like her and would love to date her.
Pls I need your advice...

Do you have any relationship issue you would like to share? Send an email to vaysylver@gmail.com
BB pin: 29263C09

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Sunday, 14 October 2012

The Wrath of Jezebel by Amos Bwire...contd

What's happened to me? Her mind was in a blur, as she tried to comprehend the turn of events that had gone by. Oh, am I dreaming…!
No, she was not. And as her memory drifted back to a shocking realization, Abella got filled with an abrupt sense of paranoia. Or please, someone pinch me! She wondered, pulling herself up and sat upright.

Her memory was becoming vivid. She recalled being assisted off the floor, by someone. A man... Yes it was a man.
"Madam! Madam! What happened…?" It was the voice of her security guard calling her out, several times. Oh yes,
Shaaban! Was it him! Yes, him!
Staring at her dress, all descriptive memory came back in place. This is real! She thought as shock overwhelmed her. For how long have I passed out? She wasn't clear. And where is the…? Her heart thumped.

Her eyes roamed around the room, urgently. "Oh God!" She muttered. Am I imagining things…?
No, she was not. Her distinct and striking mental memory told her, before she lost her consciousness she was staring at a bunch of her obscene photos, and a video disc that had lord-knows-what inside it. Both items had now disappeared.

She rushed outside the house. "Shaaban! Shabaan!" She called out; no response. She roamed around the house; no signs of him. Inside his booth; he wasn't there. She opened the gate, shouting his name, madly. There was no single sign of any movement in the neighborhood. Her
wristwatch said it was half past midnight.

She banged the gate and went to the
garage. Only one car was there; hers. She rushed back inside the house. Insanely, Abella pushed and pulled furniture around, flipping up cushions
and stuff. She was losing her mind. Here and there were her stifled groans, as her head throbbed. She saw them not. Giving up the search, her hands clamped onto her banging
head. "Shaaban. Shaaban," Her voice was hoarse.
"Why are you doing this to me...?"
From the top of a bookshelf, she saw her cellphone. Who put it there? She rushed to pick it up. Suddenly, Lucinda came back in her mind. She punched the digits. Lucinda's number was not reachable. She tried again, five more times; not reachable. Same was to her alternative line.

Frustrated, Abella threw the phone across the sofa. Her shoulders fell. "What's happening to me?" She murmured at herself, slapping her
hands weakly against the sides of her hips.

To be continued...
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Friday, 12 October 2012


Sleeping with a best friend spouse is usually an act done out of jealousy, mistake or the case of opportunity presents itself and is better kept as a secret. But when your best friend gives you the green light, will you turn on the ignition?
This seems not to be a big problem for the former WWE championship wrestler, Hulk Hogan, whose sex tape went viral last week. Hulk Hogan confessed on a TV show recently that the woman in his sex tape was Heather Clem, the now-estranged wife of his best friend, Bubba the Love Sponge. Hulk said he was having issues at home with his wife and Bubba, a syndicated DJ came to the rescue by offering his wife to Hulk. What are best friends for?
If you were in Hulk's shoes, would you sleep with your best friend spouse? Even when they have given you their blessings to commit the act, would you?
Let the heat begin!!!

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Tuesday, 9 October 2012


Yaaay!!! It's my birthday today, I'm a year older and also better today. Isn't it amazing to see another birthday?I feel so wonderful and  blessed to be alive today. Looking back  at my life, I would say , I haven't done that bad.

So what am I doing today? Well, I dug up some pretty old and funny pictures of me when I was still a toddler. Feel free to laugh, jest, drool and of course appreciate God's gift to man which is....moi!!! Watch the evolution...enjoy!!!

Ain't i cute? Was just three months old here.
Me and my mum 

Sunday, 7 October 2012

The Wrath of Jezebel...contd by Amos Bwire

Tearfully, Abella had moved onto the bed, her body shuddering with anger and disbelief. Hands were on her sizzling head. A moment later she stopped crying took her cellphone and punched Lucinda's number.

"Your voice doesn't sound okay." It was Lucinda. "Are you fine, sweetie?"

"Not really, Lucy." 

"What happened?  Tell me. Tell me."

"He just hit me....."

"He what?"

"That's it Lucy."

"I can't believe this! But why?"

"I don't know.  He just jumped on me today and--" Suddenly, she was in mild sobs.

"Bastard!" Blurted Lucinda. "Tell me, did he hurt you? Is he there?"

"No. Not much, dear. He is not here. He wanted to tell me he is moving out. I told him 'go ahead,' and he got angry, hit me, and rushed out!"

"Oh that good. Pole honey!" Said Lucinda, her voice concerned. "He wants to move out? As if you would care!"

"Actually I'll be so glad! I'm tired of this man!"

"Can I come and pick you up?"

"No. I'm coming."

"Ok, sweetie. I'll be waiting then…And I have a surprise for you, tonight."

"Oh, Lucy!" 
As the phone line went off, Abella heard a doorbell chiming. It was the watchman.
"Sorry madam, someone just came by and handled me this." It was a small parcel, wrapped neatly, in a gift paper, and there was a greetings card attached onto it. "He said it's for you."

"Lucy, Lucy, Lucy…" Abella hummed, before she opened the envelope. The card had but one sentence:

"Meet me tomorrow, 6pm sharp, at Serena."

What is this? She thought, anxiously. Still at the front door, Abella opened the parcel. There were at least 30 pictures, and a recorded video disk. The pictures were obvious, with various sexual scenes that were taken on at least six different occasions, involving her and Lucinda. Some were from Lucinda's mansion. Others from hotels' suites. Most of them had some filthy, jaw-dropping actions, various types of toys and with Abella mostly on the receiving end. The simplest of the photos involved of a deep kissing action that took place inside Lucinda's car.

Staring at her Pandora's Box, Abella got sweaty. Her chest thundered, heavily. "Oh, my God! Oh-oh-oh-my--" She tried to step back inside the house. But with just one step in, darkness clouded her vision. All sense of hearing suddenly faded. Her skeletal muscles lost control. She felt dizzy, before her body slumped to the floor. She blackened out.
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