IS SEXTING CHEATING OR FLIRTING?

If you are living in the 21st century and you have a Smartphone or belong to more than one online social networking site, then you are guilty of sexting (unless you are so spiritually alert). Back in the days when the internet was still a bit alien, the only form of showing your affection for someone else other than your partner was either to arrange clandestine meetings or send love letters or poems.

But with the advent of the internet, flirting has become easier with just a click.

The traditional ways of knowing when your partner is cheating on you was through the tell tale signs they usually leave around such as, the new fragrance that he exudes which you know he doesn’t have in his collection, the secret love letter in the pocket of his coat or her handbag, or the lipstick stain on the collar of his shirt or the opened box of condoms on his cupboard which was never sealed the last time you checked. But nowadays, jut snooping round the phone of your lover will reveal to you if they had been faithful lately.
As sexy as the word “sexting” sounds the ears, so also is the desire to try it out.

“Just let me see what I really look like when I climax.”…

 









 "OMG!!! Are my breasts that lovely in pictures?”…

 “Yeah,  check me out!!!.”…

 "Oh baby, I'm so haaaard right now."

“Hey, do you want to see my vejayjay? I’m sure you would love it.”

To aggravate the situation, the internet has promoted the practice of sexting through instant messaging and private messages on Facebook with the Blackberry messenger topping the list. It’s like anyone on the internet has become sexually wired. Anyone hitting on you wants to get a sneaky peek at what he is going to pay for before the real thing.
“Send me a picture of you in the bathroom naked. I want to see what you really look like.”
Hello!!! What happened to my facial picture on my dp?

Human beings are very visual beings, and just like we get turned on by watching our spouse striptease for us before we get tangled in bed, so also do we get turned on through sexting. In fact, such practices at times do help couples to keep the fire burning in their relationships.

Imagine being at a boring meeting at the office when you receive a ping on your Blackberry from your spouse or some girl you‘ve been flirting with on the internet, baring her tunnel of passion for you. Wow! I’m sure the meeting would suddenly become lively for you.
Now the real problem about sexting which had raised issues in relationships is if it is an act of cheating or flirting.
So I decided to send a topless picture of me to someone I met online, so what? Am I cheating or flirting?

Why some people may choose to term flirting as cheating, it really is not if there is no physical act done, just a bit teasing here and there. Can the same be said about sexting which makes use of sexually driven text messages accompanied with pictures or videos at times?
If my boyfriend should get wind of a naked picture I sent to my ex just to prove to him that he lost out on all the goodies, would that be considered as cheating or flirting?
Cheating in relationships on the other hand refers to when your partner decide to have a little more of that something from someone else, either for some selfish reasons, careless decisions, perverse actions or to escape from your lackluster sexual torture. Cheating might not necessarily link to sex, it could be lies or a secret crush you’ve been saving till you finally find a way to execute it.
In fact, couples dictate individually what should be considered a cheating. If so, Should the same apply to sexting?

Personal thoughts: Sexting is cheating to me if he is the one doing it. If he ask for some other lady to send a naked picture of her to him, that is outright disrespect to my womanhood. Why would he want some other naked picture of a bimbo when he can get free viewing rights from me any day and anytime? That will add to my list of insecurities. The next thing, he will be comparing me with her or probably, she will be in his head when we are making out or maybe, he will be telling me how to look to make me more sexually appealing to him. Hell no! If I see any naked picture of him that he sent to some other lady or another lady’s picture on his phone, he is soooo dead!!!

I know you all want to know what if I’m the culprit, should the same judgment be passed on me? Well… you know women like baring it all. Sometimes, you just want to know how sexy you are in someone else eyes aside from your boyfriend. That is not cheating. I know we may never see and it will just be for the fun of the moment. Not that I will do it, but if I have to do it with someone else other than my boyfriend, then just know that I’m just being an attention whore or feeling very insecure. And hey, it doesn’t have to be a guy; it could be my girlfriend.

That said, it solely depends on the grounds on which your relationship is built. If you think sexting is a harmless act and doesn’t poise as a threat to your relationship, cool for you. But, if you feel insecure and scared that it will affect your relationship, then look for a way to put a stop to it. And don’t even think about seizing her phone. Capishe?

HOW TO HANDLE YOUR PARTNER’S SEXUAL FETISH

It is quite 'spooky' when you are in the bedroom ready to have some good sex and your partner asks you to do something quite different from the conventional stuff you've known your entire life, something you consider to be too perverse or abnormal. If you are the adventurous type, you may be willing to try the new act but if not, you might have to rethink or probably cringe in fear.

Just as it is important you get to know your partner’s interests, activities, hobbies, likes and dislikes, it is also important you know about his sexual fetish. For some of us, sexual fetish may sound strange. Sexual fetish is just another form of sexual arousal which may be derived from a physical object or a particular situation and may be unusual.  They include those dirty secret fantasies we have about ourselves during sexual intercourse that we would like to experiment on. And whether we like it or not, each of us also have our own secret obsession.

Maybe you love to lick your partner’s feet or you enjoy being bitten on the nipple or earlobe gently, or the gentle yanking of the scrotal during fellatio. While some fetish are just ordinary or simply put, safe fantasies, some are quite abnormal. For example your partner wanting you to pee on him/her (urophilia) or maybe inflicting pain on your partner which may involve spanking, flogging and any form of domination (sadomasochism), binding and blindfolding your partner during sexual intercourse, or dressing up for your partner in any character of his/her choice to heighten his/her sexual pleasure, or having a threesome or moresome with your partner.

 Such kinds of fetishes usually make the hairs at the back of your neck stand up or give you the chills immediately. This may be as a result of the social acceptance linked to such fetish and the psychological effect it can have on the partner. For someone who has high moral standards, such kind of fetish may be perceived as a perversion or abomination to their ears .Imagine asking a prude to pee on you, she will probably never call you again. The fact is that sexual fetish is not really that bad but when it becomes a strong addiction or obsession and involves risk of pain or domination it becomes a problem because you will always want to be in control. That is the difference between sexual fetishes and sexual obsession. The main role of sexual fetishism in the bedroom is that it provides an opportunity to look for new ways to increase your sexual pleasure as well as your libido. It is meant for fun, to be enjoyed and not to be defeated or humiliated.

Sexual fetishism can spring up from very powerful emotions such as curiosity, fear, excitement, an unforgettable childhood memory, etc. the mind can choose to fantasize on something out of the conventional, such as imagining having sex in the rain or dirty ground, or in the open, or in the car.  Sexual fetish could also be an attraction to a particular [part of the body such as the navel, the buttocks, feet, earlobes etc. all these may seem abnormal to some people but it is just another way of escalating the sexual momentum.

Below are different types of sexual fetish though there are thousands of sexual fetishes one can find online. Some of them are not that bad but some are out rightly bizarre. Check them out!

• Necrophilia: The act of having sex with a dead body: 

Imagine your partner waking you up in the middle of the night and asking you to follow him to the morgue. And you go ‘‘why” and he tells you ‘‘cos I wanna have a good fuck’’… Run for your life and call 911!!! That is so weird!

• Zoophilia/ Bestiality: The act of having sex with an animal.

So you get home after a hectic day at the office just to meet your dog banging your wife from behind on the living room couch. Oops!!!

• Sadomasochism: Popularly known as S&M, it is the act of inflicting pain on one’s partner usually in the form of domination and submission. In this type of sexual fetish, there is a giver of pain and receiver of pain and includes light or heavy spanking, verbal abuse or heavy flogging.

Get down on your knees boy and lick my ass!  PAM!!!!

• Agalmatophilia: This is a sexual attraction to a statue or mannequin or a doll or fantasy about such inanimate objects.

Uh oh…. I can’t imagine my girlfriend kissing that mannequin in the fashion shop. In fact, I’m getting rid of all her Barbie dolls!

• Aquaphilia/Hydrophilia:  This involves sexual images of people swimming or posing underwater, or having a sexual activity in or under the water.

 Not that bad, I like!

·        Armpit fetishism: This is a sexual attraction to your partner’s armpits. It is believed that the human odour is a powerful stimulant for sex even in the absence of sexual contact.

Hmm, as long as it smells good, I got no problem with this.

·        Narratophilia:  This is a form of sexual fetish which involves the act of listening to/telling of dirty and obscene words or stories to your partner in order to arouse him/her sexually.

 I love some dirty bitchy talk baby!

·        Cuckold: Historically, this term is a derogatory term for a man who has an unfaithful wife, but in recent times, it is a term used to refer to a male fetishist who gains sexual gratification from his partner having intercourse with other people.

Hell no!!!  

·        Clothing fetish: This is a kind of sexual fetish where one is required to wear a particular kind of garment or piece of clothing or uniform which might revolve round a particular type of fashion or job, for his/her partner’s sexual gratification.  Sometimes, the sight of one wearing such garment in public can stimulate the sexual organs.

Yeah! Wanna see me in a fireman overall?

·        Exhibitionism: This is a desire to expose one’s body parts especially the genitals such as the buttocks and the breasts in a public place or not too crowded environment to arouse sexual pleasure. It necessarily doesn’t have to be your partner; it can be to total strangers. In some cases, your partner may require you to dress in a half naked manner to derive sexual gratification from the gawking glances of onlookers. 

Umm…No comment!!!

·        Somnophilia: This is the act of intruding on and awakening a sleeping person to gain sexual pleasure by caressing them softly or fondling without force or violence. This is usually an unconscious act due to the proximity of your partner’s body to yours which may lead to sexual urge.

We will have to plan a timetable for this cos some nights I may not be in the mood.

• Navel fetish (belly button fetish): This is a sexual attraction to the navel. This could be a major turn on for some people and may include physical act such as licking the navel with the tongue or rubbing body lotion on it, pouring drops of champagne, honey, chocolate sauce, whipped cream etc., into and around the navel and then licking or sucking it up.

I’mma do a belly dance for you!!!

·        Pygophilia: refers to sexual arousal caused by the buttocks. In this case,the buttocks becomes the sole attention.

Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! But please no penetration!!!

So how do you go about it when your partner ask you to pee on him or probably invite a girlfriend over, do you go berserk or probably give him the boot?

 First and foremost, you must discuss it with him right from the onset. Don’t wait till you are all cuddled up in bed and the heat is already turned on before you bombard him with questions about his sexual fetish. Get to talk about it during your dating period. In that way, you will be prepared for any surprises. At the same time you will be able to decipher if he has a sexual fetish or an obsession. It will give you the opportunity to decide if you can cope with such sexual act or not. Aside from discussing about his/ her sexual fetish, you also get the opportunity to tell him about yours. There is nothing communication cannot do. Just talk about it and see where it leads you to.

If you are adventurous enough, you can decide to experiment on it. While experimenting on it, keep all your senses alert.  It will help evaluate the act.  Observe any eccentricities you think you are not cool with. If you notice something you feel uncomfortable with, just let him/her know, do not hesitate to call it to his or her attention. Well, if you enjoy the ride, then go all the way. At the end of the day, you would have reached a decision.

If you think your partner’s sexual fetish is quite abnormal, help him/her. Get a therapist for him/her in any way you can. Try to make him/her understand why he or she needs help. Though they might be unwilling at first but with more conviction, you might save a soul.

There is no harm in having a fantasy you will like to make a reality as long as it is safe and not risky, plus your partner have to be cool with it. Just try not to make it an obsession.

 

MR LITTLE PRIDE

Women are always thrilled by confident men. They love it when a man exudes confidence in whatever he is doing, be it in his appearance, speech or attitude.


  However, a woman can tell when a man is being outwardly arrogant, especially through his  approach. Such attitude is perceived as inferiority complex by the women. When a man act too arrogant or braggish, then the woman suspects he is trying to hide an inadequacy, usually in his sex life.

    Men are egotistical beings. They pride themselves in everything. From their personality to their career, their relationship, family and even sex.

  A man's pride gives  him confidence, it makes him feel complete and real.
You can always tell a man's pride by the way he dresses, speaks,acts  and even eats.
 
  However, a man's pride may not usually be based on his achievement in life. Sometimes, it is a cover up of his shortcomings. No man wants to feel inferior in the sight of his fellow beings, even if it means lying through his teeth, he just has to keep his head high.

  Such men are outwardly arrogant at first glance. They appear so formidable that they generate so much fear when approached.

  It is often said that a man's pride is measured by his penis. If this is so, why are men with smaller penis more egotistical than those with longer penis or even average?

  Most men have what is called the "small penis syndrome" . This is caused when men perceive that they have smaller penises and are inadequate  in pleasuring a woman in bed.

  Most times, such fear stems  from comparing the penis with others(like they do in the locker rooms) or from watching porn and gawking at those monstrous penis.

  The average penis size of a man is between 14 and 16 centimeters(5.5 and 6.3 inches) long in its erect state and has a circumference of 12 to 13 centimeters (4.7 to 5.1 inches)

  A penis can only be called "micro" when it is shorter than 7 centimeters (2.75 inches) in its erect state.

  Men with such cases usually shy away from sex. They are often occupied with the disparaging glances they might get from their partners in the bedroom.

  Women are often said to size how big a man's  penis is from his  height, weight, waist line, among others. Arrogance is another way of measuring a man's penis. Most men with smaller penis exhibit arrogance in the bedroom and often times, like making out with the lights turned off or in dark places.

  When it's time to perform the action, the fear creeps in. While some may decide to stay mute, others will prefer to ask questions like: "do you like it?" " Is it big enough for you?" ...

  In some extreme cases, the psychological effect of this syndrome can make the penis flaccid which aggravate the situation for the man. Such men often try to enlarge their penis by taking pills or going for surgical operation just to feel real.

  The irony of this is that the big penis is not the ideal for most women. Most women are not worried about the size but the performance of the man in bed. Women enjoy men who know how to bring them to orgasm. Not just once, but multiple orgasms. In fact, having a big penis penetrate into the vagina could be a painful experience for the woman. Sometimes big penis could be scary for a woman and she may not want to indulge in any sexual intercourse with the man. 

  An average woman is only aware of the size of the penis when it is in its erect state. In its flaccid state, women hardly take note of the size of the penis because they are not useful then. But when it's action time, they consciously or unconsciously take note of the size of the penis to whisper to girlfriends  during lunchtime or in the salon.

    However, what a woman is really interested in is how good the penis can swim in her ocean. Can it satisfy her? Can it take her to the point of no retuen? Can it make her scream her lungs out? Women are also irritated when a man keeps emphasizing on the size of the penis. This is why most women see guys with big penis as jerks. They hate the way they blabber about the monstrosity of the penis.

   

   Each penis, irrespective of its size, can satisfy a woman if and only if the owner knows how to make maximise its use.

  The size doesn't matter, but the performance matters. So stop getting all anxious over nothing  and learn how to make your woman climax in an unforgettable way.