It is quite 'spooky' when you are in the bedroom ready to have some good sex and your partner asks you to do something quite different from the conventional stuff you've known your entire life, something you consider to be too perverse or abnormal. If you are the adventurous type, you may be willing to try the new act but if not, you might have to rethink or probably cringe in fear.
Just as it is important you get to know your partner’s interests, activities, hobbies, likes and dislikes, it is also important you know about his sexual fetish. For some of us, sexual fetish may sound strange. Sexual fetish is just another form of sexual arousal which may be derived from a physical object or a particular situation and may be unusual. They include those dirty secret fantasies we have about ourselves during sexual intercourse that we would like to experiment on. And whether we like it or not, each of us also have our own secret obsession.
Maybe you love to lick your partner’s feet or you enjoy being bitten on the nipple or earlobe gently, or the gentle yanking of the scrotal during fellatio. While some fetish are just ordinary or simply put, safe fantasies, some are quite abnormal. For example your partner wanting you to pee on him/her (urophilia) or maybe inflicting pain on your partner which may involve spanking, flogging and any form of domination (sadomasochism), binding and blindfolding your partner during sexual intercourse, or dressing up for your partner in any character of his/her choice to heighten his/her sexual pleasure, or having a threesome or moresome with your partner.
Such kinds of fetishes usually make the hairs at the back of your neck stand up or give you the chills immediately. This may be as a result of the social acceptance linked to such fetish and the psychological effect it can have on the partner. For someone who has high moral standards, such kind of fetish may be perceived as a perversion or abomination to their ears .Imagine asking a prude to pee on you, she will probably never call you again. The fact is that sexual fetish is not really that bad but when it becomes a strong addiction or obsession and involves risk of pain or domination it becomes a problem because you will always want to be in control. That is the difference between sexual fetishes and sexual obsession. The main role of sexual fetishism in the bedroom is that it provides an opportunity to look for new ways to increase your sexual pleasure as well as your libido. It is meant for fun, to be enjoyed and not to be defeated or humiliated.
Sexual fetishism can spring up from very powerful emotions such as curiosity, fear, excitement, an unforgettable childhood memory, etc. the mind can choose to fantasize on something out of the conventional, such as imagining having sex in the rain or dirty ground, or in the open, or in the car. Sexual fetish could also be an attraction to a particular [part of the body such as the navel, the buttocks, feet, earlobes etc. all these may seem abnormal to some people but it is just another way of escalating the sexual momentum.
Below are different types of sexual fetish though there are thousands of sexual fetishes one can find online. Some of them are not that bad but some are out rightly bizarre. Check them out!
- Necrophilia: The act of having sex with a dead body:
Imagine your partner waking you up in the middle of the night and asking you to follow him to the morgue. And you go ‘‘why” and he tells you ‘‘cos I wanna have a good fuck’’… Run for your life and call 911!!! That is so weird!
- Zoophilia/ Bestiality: The act of having sex with an animal.
So you get home after a hectic day at the office just to meet your dog banging your wife from behind on the living room couch. Oops!!!
- Sadomasochism: Popularly known as S&M, it is the act of inflicting pain on one’s partner usually in the form of domination and submission. In this type of sexual fetish, there is a giver of pain and receiver of pain and includes light or heavy spanking, verbal abuse or heavy flogging.
Get down on your knees boy and lick my ass! PAM!!!!
- Agalmatophilia: This is a sexual attraction to a statue or mannequin or a doll or fantasy about such inanimate objects.
Uh oh…. I can’t imagine my girlfriend kissing that mannequin in the fashion shop. In fact, I’m getting rid of all her Barbie dolls!
- Aquaphilia/Hydrophilia: This involves sexual images of people swimming or posing underwater, or having a sexual activity in or under the water.
Not that bad, I like!
· Armpit fetishism: This is a sexual attraction to your partner’s armpits. It is believed that the human odour is a powerful stimulant for sex even in the absence of sexual contact.
Hmm, as long as it smells good, I got no problem with this.
· Narratophilia: This is a form of sexual fetish which involves the act of listening to/telling of dirty and obscene words or stories to your partner in order to arouse him/her sexually.
I love some dirty bitchy talk baby!
· Cuckold: Historically, this term is a derogatory term for a man who has an unfaithful wife, but in recent times, it is a term used to refer to a male fetishist who gains sexual gratification from his partner having intercourse with other people.
· Clothing fetish: This is a kind of sexual fetish where one is required to wear a particular kind of garment or piece of clothing or uniform which might revolve round a particular type of fashion or job, for his/her partner’s sexual gratification. Sometimes, the sight of one wearing such garment in public can stimulate the sexual organs.
· Exhibitionism: This is a desire to expose one’s body parts especially the genitals such as the buttocks and the breasts in a public place or not too crowded environment to arouse sexual pleasure. It necessarily doesn’t have to be your partner; it can be to total strangers. In some cases, your partner may require you to dress in a half naked manner to derive sexual gratification from the gawking glances of onlookers.
· Somnophilia: This is the act of intruding on and awakening a sleeping person to gain sexual pleasure by caressing them softly or fondling without force or violence. This is usually an unconscious act due to the proximity of your partner’s body to yours which may lead to sexual urge.
- Navel fetish (belly button fetish): This is a sexual attraction to the navel. This could be a major turn on for some people and may include physical act such as licking the navel with the tongue or rubbing body lotion on it, pouring drops of champagne, honey, chocolate sauce, whipped cream etc., into and around the navel and then licking or sucking it up.
· Pygophilia: refers to sexual arousal caused by the buttocks. In this case,the buttocks becomes the sole attention.
Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! But please no penetration!!!
So how do you go about it when your partner ask you to pee on him or probably invite a girlfriend over, do you go berserk or probably give him the boot?
First and foremost, you must discuss it with him right from the onset. Don’t wait till you are all cuddled up in bed and the heat is already turned on before you bombard him with questions about his sexual fetish. Get to talk about it during your dating period. In that way, you will be prepared for any surprises. At the same time you will be able to decipher if he has a sexual fetish or an obsession. It will give you the opportunity to decide if you can cope with such sexual act or not. Aside from discussing about his/ her sexual fetish, you also get the opportunity to tell him about yours. There is nothing communication cannot do. Just talk about it and see where it leads you to.
If you are adventurous enough, you can decide to experiment on it. While experimenting on it, keep all your senses alert. It will help evaluate the act. Observe any eccentricities you think you are not cool with. If you notice something you feel uncomfortable with, just let him/her know, do not hesitate to call it to his or her attention. Well, if you enjoy the ride, then go all the way. At the end of the day, you would have reached a decision.
If you think your partner’s sexual fetish is quite abnormal, help him/her. Get a therapist for him/her in any way you can. Try to make him/her understand why he or she needs help. Though they might be unwilling at first but with more conviction, you might save a soul.
There is no harm in having a fantasy you will like to make a reality as long as it is safe and not risky, plus your partner have to be cool with it. Just try not to make it an obsession.