Tuesday, 29 May 2012
If you are living in the 21st century and you have a Smartphone or belong to more than one online social networking site, then you are guilty of sexting (unless you are so spiritually alert). Back in the days when the internet was still a bit alien, the only form of showing your affection for someone else other than your partner was either to arrange clandestine meetings or send love letters or poems.
The traditional ways of knowing when your partner is cheating on you was through the tell tale signs they usually leave around such as, the new fragrance that he exudes which you know he doesn’t have in his collection, the secret love letter in the pocket of his coat or her handbag, or the lipstick stain on the collar of his shirt or the opened box of condoms on his cupboard which was never sealed the last time you checked. But nowadays, jut snooping round the phone of your lover will reveal to you if they had been faithful lately.
As sexy as the word “sexting” sounds the ears, so also is the desire to try it out.
“Just let me see what I really look like when I climax.”…
"OMG!!! Are my breasts that lovely in pictures?”…
"Oh baby, I'm so haaaard right now."
To aggravate the situation, the internet has promoted the practice of sexting through instant messaging and private messages on Facebook with the Blackberry messenger topping the list. It’s like anyone on the internet has become sexually wired. Anyone hitting on you wants to get a sneaky peek at what he is going to pay for before the real thing.
“Send me a picture of you in the bathroom naked. I want to see what you really look like.”
Hello!!! What happened to my facial picture on my dp?
Human beings are very visual beings, and just like we get turned on by watching our spouse striptease for us before we get tangled in bed, so also do we get turned on through sexting. In fact, such practices at times do help couples to keep the fire burning in their relationships.
Imagine being at a boring meeting at the office when you receive a ping on your Blackberry from your spouse or some girl you‘ve been flirting with on the internet, baring her tunnel of passion for you. Wow! I’m sure the meeting would suddenly become lively for you.
Now the real problem about sexting which had raised issues in relationships is if it is an act of cheating or flirting.
So I decided to send a topless picture of me to someone I met online, so what? Am I cheating or flirting?
Why some people may choose to term flirting as cheating, it really is not if there is no physical act done, just a bit teasing here and there. Can the same be said about sexting which makes use of sexually driven text messages accompanied with pictures or videos at times?
If my boyfriend should get wind of a naked picture I sent to my ex just to prove to him that he lost out on all the goodies, would that be considered as cheating or flirting?
Cheating in relationships on the other hand refers to when your partner decide to have a little more of that something from someone else, either for some selfish reasons, careless decisions, perverse actions or to escape from your lackluster sexual torture. Cheating might not necessarily link to sex, it could be lies or a secret crush you’ve been saving till you finally find a way to execute it.
In fact, couples dictate individually what should be considered a cheating. If so, Should the same apply to sexting?
Personal thoughts: Sexting is cheating to me if he is the one doing it. If he ask for some other lady to send a naked picture of her to him, that is outright disrespect to my womanhood. Why would he want some other naked picture of a bimbo when he can get free viewing rights from me any day and anytime? That will add to my list of insecurities. The next thing, he will be comparing me with her or probably, she will be in his head when we are making out or maybe, he will be telling me how to look to make me more sexually appealing to him. Hell no! If I see any naked picture of him that he sent to some other lady or another lady’s picture on his phone, he is soooo dead!!!
I know you all want to know what if I’m the culprit, should the same judgment be passed on me? Well… you know women like baring it all. Sometimes, you just want to know how sexy you are in someone else eyes aside from your boyfriend. That is not cheating. I know we may never see and it will just be for the fun of the moment. Not that I will do it, but if I have to do it with someone else other than my boyfriend, then just know that I’m just being an attention whore or feeling very insecure. And hey, it doesn’t have to be a guy; it could be my girlfriend.
That said, it solely depends on the grounds on which your relationship is built. If you think sexting is a harmless act and doesn’t poise as a threat to your relationship, cool for you. But, if you feel insecure and scared that it will affect your relationship, then look for a way to put a stop to it. And don’t even think about seizing her phone. Capishe?
Monday, 28 May 2012
When the popular Nigerian pop music star, 2face Idibia proposed to his long time girlfriend, the Nollywood actress, Annie Macaulay on Valentine’s day, it aroused mixed feelings from the public as the two has been known to be in an on and off kind of relationship, especially with the notoriety that accompanies 2face's love life. We all know how devastated Annie was when she learnt about her hubby’s libertine nature when they were still dating back in the days but she really didn’t give a damn as the two tied knots on the first week of this month. This came on the heels of one of his baby mamas, Pero Adeniyi delivery of the 6th child of the pop crooner. So why didn't he pop the question to her since he obviously went for round 2? Is it a matter of first love to Annie or what? Why Annie of all the women he has dated?
With his kind of lifestyle, 2face can have any woman of his choice because he got everything a woman needs apart from his poor eloquence in English language. But that didn't deter women to flock around him, not just any woman but classy chics.
I'm still trying to understand why Annie could just accept to marry him knowing his full history of women. Does she trust him that much? Is it a devotion of first love or she just wants to be in the limelight? (We all know women could be crazy at times).
And I’m sure she is still reveling in her glory as the winner of the marital contest between her and other women who had tried to get hitched with the raving pop star.(Annie smiley face: ”I told ya, he is mine”)
Personal thoughts: The popular saying “true love never dies” in my own field of thoughts is long overrated. To some, this expression still means a whole lot to them. This could be true if what you shared with your first love was phenomenal, or maybe the tricks of your first kiss was too magical to forget, or the innocence of that first pure love. If you had any of these, then no doubt, you will always long for your first love. But if the reverse is the case and you were abused emotionally or disrespected, then that expression would be found in the thrash can (I’m speaking for myself oh cos Annie didn’t care about 2face promiscuity)
Trust me, I can’t even imagine me and my first love together… ok, you can tell I’m lying right now because I still do carry a torch for my first love.(I hope he doesn’t read this and my boyfriend shouldn’t take this personal). It’s crazy I know but we all fall victims to this. My first love and 2face share the same professional qualifications in promiscuity. Blame their heart wrenching handsome looks. I always fall for the ladies man; think cupid has a hand in it. But experience had taught me that they are the most troubled among the species of men because of their high demand in the women’s market. And this always makes them more confused and more promiscuous.
Nevertheless, if my first love should walk up to me and ask for my hand in marriage I will say no, because I know he will always stray. Well, all men stray at one point or the other. I may have fallen for his good looks and all that back then but I don’t think that will work for me now. Why you may ask? Because of time and experience.
Time has healed the pain I felt when I found out I wasn’t the only lady in his life. Seriously, no woman want to be the second best even if when they know that there are other women in the picture (obviously, 2face's baby mamas didn’t give a damn).
Thank God I walked away because I have been opportuned to meet better people.
You know the tricky thing about first love is that when they are breaking up with you, you feel you would be helpless without them, you feel your world is going to crumble and life ain’t nothing anymore. And all that is true because it’s hard to let go of that special someone who made you feel like you are the best thing that ever happened in their lives (or you were deceiving yourself that you were). First loves are great but when they become assholes, you just have to let go and move on because there is no law that says you must end up with them.
But if you want to end up like Annie who is blooming in her marital bliss, then have a sticker that reads "first love never dies; I still love you Amy" on your chest. I'm sure they will get the message.
I'm crossing my fingers on the duration of their marriage. Won't be surprised if I hear another baby crying "daddy 2face" very soon and definitely not from his wife.