Thursday, 3 January 2013

Thoughts of a Bohemian: Letter to God... contd

Six months after Papa died, I returned home to begin burial passages for him. The family had kept my dad's death from our mother. I did not agree with this decision. I wanted them to inform her because if the shock of papa's death was going to end her life then, I needed for that to happen so I could bury them within days. But my family overruled my "western reality". They pleaded that there were hopes Mama Reggie would break from stroke and live normal again. I didn't want to dash their hopes, so I respected their wishes and queued into their game plan of keeping the news out of her ears.

When I visited her at my younger brother's house, Dennis, at Satelite Town in Lagos, she wanted to know why I was visiting again since it had been just less than a year when I came to Nigeria. I told her that her husband was also ill and I had returned to care for them.
The family held meeting thereafter.I opted for an aggressive medical treatment but my family argued we had been trying orthodox medicine that didn't work. Someone had recommended a traditional healer of stroke disease in a remote town near Ubulu Okiti, Delta State. Arrangements were concluded before my arrival to take our mother to this village for immediate treatment. The only thing needed was financing from me. I reluctantly signed on but warned that if her condition didn't improve within six months, I would cancel all trial and hearsay native doctor treatments. Two days later, I
chartered a vehicle to transport our mother and my younger sister, Nwanne, to this village for experimental traditional herbal treatment of stroke.
After our father was buried, I returned to the United States to begin mourning and regrets of separation from my 18 year marriage. Life was
rubbishing me. Daily existence and the depressions of life flogged me from all corners. Briefly, I abandoned the care of our mother to Buchy and
other members of the family. I needed to rescue myself from the torments of separation and being a stranger to my children.
Through these times, Buchy carried on with the care of mother. She also, alongside our aunt and uncle's wife formally told our mother that dad had
died. Our mother went through various native treatment homes and villages. Every stranger or human that
cared would hear of an extraordinary healer, then recommend we tried that. Buchy would rush mother to the new healer but the end result was
the same. The family is frustrated.
Our mother have become a guinea pig for unorthodox failed faith and herbal healing and traditional medicine. We have tried all faiths and cures. Mama is still paralyzed and in vegetative state. No one should live this way. No human should go through this daily gruesome punishment.
Our mother is a beautiful human, a care giver to others, a devoted mother and wife loved by other members of the family and the village. Today she remains useless,
in absolute pain, helpless, barely audible and dependent on the mercies of her care giver and us.
She has also become a poster child of failed spiritual and orthodox nonsense. Everyday, she lives inhumanely and humiliated. Her ailment has challenged us her children financially and emotionally. Occasionally, we had come close to heated disagreements but the bond
foundation that our parents laid in the beginning has kept us from falling apart. We have found some ways to stick and stay together, agreeing that it's time we ask You, our merciful God to please end her suffering on earth.
Let our mother depart from here to a better comfortable and dignified place. Please give her eternal rest this year. She has no reason to live in pain and penury any longer. She has earned the privilege to live in you righteously, humanly and comfortably. God, give our mother
eternal peace now!!!
Yours sincerely,
Azuka Jebose
Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN

No comments:

Post a Comment