Wednesday, 12 September 2012


Every woman wants a man who will treat her right; it is like a dream come true. Someone who will always be there for her when she needs him, do all the housechores, give her the upper hand in an argument and all that mushy mushy stuffs that makes her simultaneously wobbly and powerful. Unfortunately, such men are hard to find. One will think if a woman should find such man, that she would hold him dear to her heart but the reverse seems to be the case in some occasions. A good man in a woman’s world is a man that has good moral standards, treat her like a queen and succumb to her wishes or demands without argument.
While in a man's world, such men may be seen as jerks or losers or even weak. Like for real, who does that? Why be in servitude to a woman's whiny tantrums when you are supposed to be in charge. You have to prove that you are a man by being the one in control. You dictate when things happen, not her.

Pardon my digression. Back to the basics.
Well even if they are seen as weak men by their specie, that's the kind of men women want to have by their sides (Who doesn’t?).
I once dated this good guy not too long ago. We had this romantic relationship that I will never forget. Whenever we got to see each other, it was as if our love was reborn. He made me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world; like no one else mattered except me. Whatever will make me happy he was willing to do. It felt like I was in heaven, like truly there were happy endings. Who would have thought that I will find myself a good man like him after all the men who had broken my heart countless times? Whenever we went out on dates, he was the perfect gentleman. He will hold out the doors for me, kiss me affectionately in public, he made me feel like I was the prettiest jewel in his life.
We did have our arguments sometimes and while he would want to have the upper hand, he willingly allowed me do things my own way. And that is what a woman craves for most times. Yeah, let me win every argument, after all women are always right, aren't they.
With all the sweet-coated words that got my head spinning and all the love and attention I got from him, I felt I was in charge. That I had him wrapped around my fingers. That I was his idol because he really did idolise me with the way he professed his love to me with each passing moment, through text messages and phone calls. Not to mention the loving and caring attitude he showed towards me.
Wow! I felt I finally got me some good devoted lover, I would exclaim to myself. I wasn't scared of competition. I knew he loved me to bits and no woman would ever take him away from me. Well, the bad news is, that was where I got it all wrong.
Yeah he did show me love and devotion but i never for once tried to ask him about his needs. It was all about me. Me that... our conversations were always centered on me and what I want him to do for me (you can call me selfish).
I'm not really the type who snoops through my man's things. Like check his phone or toss his shirts around to see if there is a random note or a woman's complimentary card in there... stuff like that. I always believe that if there is something going on, I will find out one way or the other. Guess I was wrong because I mistakenly stumbled on some text messages on his phone from this peculiar cell number. You can imagine my shock when I saw another woman's message telling my supposedly good lover that she missed him and his lovemaking terribly. I'm like WTF? What the hell is going on? I tried to be rational and not jump into conclusions. So I asked him if there was another woman and he vehemently denied saying "NO!!!". “No other woman except you baby!”
I started thinking if this wasn't a player who was skilled at this love game very well, but then, it may be my inner self over-reacting.
So I showed him the text messages later and he broke down. Begging; crying, asking for my forgiveness, that he didn't know how he got caught up in the affair but my not letting him help out in the personal decisions in my life got him all worked up. He also claimed that all I want from him is to be with me but not really be into him. In other words, I was cagey and clingy, suffocating him with my needs to a point where his needs gradually became a mirage.
And that was the shocker. Really? Have I really been so dominating that I didn't give him the chance to air his views in my personal decisions? Have I really enslaved him to my needs like that? I couldn't believe that my good guy could actually cheat on me. That he could double date, share me with another woman. I thought that was the bad guys’ game. How come my good guy is doing it? It really got me thinking. Are there really good guys out there or as women we are just badly deluded that there are good guys out there? What really makes a good guy? Is he just another repented player or an expert in the game of love?


  1. In life's reality,every act, moral or immoral is a product of man's everyday struggle in the adventure of the desires between their head and heart.

    For how long can one hesitate the thoughts between the head and the heart is a struggle that results to your topic; when a good man cheats and other moral or immoral acts. As natural beings,somethings are inevitable depending on the desire conflict resolution level of your head(mind) and your heart. What we feed our heads(mind) and hearts with can make a whole lot of difference in our relationships. But as supernatural beings,we are over-comers in this world by the power of God.

    Yes I am saying its difficult not to cheat but there's so much joy and happiness,freedom and peace when you don't.

    Keep the good work Vay

  2. Many women are not capable of managing love affairs. The theory of love is not the same as practrical love affairs. taking anyhing for granted is surely the best way to lose it. No one is an island. Parents have not been able to perfect the transition of girls to relationship. Fantasy and reality never mixed perfectly. 

  3. Nope! There are no gud guys .sometimes I do Wonder if there's somefin Down there dat always scratches em 2 make em want 2 scratch with any available stick. But u also was not encouraging @ all. I don't know about other babes tho but I like my Man a lil bit hash cos if he should Do anyfin I say then he should be ready 2 be my chair Cos I'll surely seats on Him That is the only way I can ever truely respect him as the head. I know myself en I know wat am capable of Doing.
    I swear 2 God almighty there are no gud guys anywhere believe me Vay. None. If not 4 Kids I would av stayed alone All they av 2 give is headache and regrets. Frustrations. No matter how hard u try it will seem as if U have not even started En if u allow that gets into u it will Wreck u to shreds. Men are the Only troubles women have Troubles they cannot Do without.

    Cute Catty