Friday, 3 August 2012

FRIDAY HEAT: Is online dating really all about sex???

During a chit chat with my sister yesterday, she told me about a discussion she stumbled upon on her Facebook page. It was about a lady who had met two guys online, A and B. She and A knew each other for a while before he introduced her to B. Along the line, she and A felt Cupid at work but somehow A became distant and B became available. This inadvertently aroused strong feelings for B.

Her dilemma however lies in the fact that she is about to meet both guys for the first time and she doesn't know who is more real since she found out later that all the while A was professing love to her online, he was in a serious relationship with some other cutie. Thanks to B for this info.

Being a bit indecisive on what to do, she had asked her friends (and strangers as well) online to help her with advices not insults( trust Nigerians. Lol!)

To surmise, she got her insults and advice as well but what really piqued my interest was the type of advice she got from her friends. Majority of them told her that she should ditch the two guys because all they want from her is sex. They advised her that most guys online are not real, and she may never really tell who is lying among the two.

This makes me wonder if online dating is about sex since this is not the first time I've heard such comments.

I have met lots of wonderful people online. And yes, the sex factor usually comes into play. Don't know if it is a new tag line to catch a babe or whatever. But it depends on the user to decipher who is a jackass and a real man. If a man starts talking all dirty on you online, you should know without a red alert that he is nothing to write home about.

But what about those who come out all clean, all mannered and well spoken but have such devious plans in their minds?

While I may assume that a sensible person should be able to read the signs, I can't help but wonder if online dating is really just about sex? Is Cupid not working in this time zone? Can't real love, long time partnership be found here?

Despite the technology advancement in the world, most people still find it hard to believe that online dating could actually be the ish. That truly, one can find a partner here. Most people view online dating as an avenue to get cheap sex. With social networking sites such as Facebook and BBM, sex seems to be just one click away and one can get it for free most times. Thanks to sexting.

While I believe that there is nothing really different between an online and offline relationship apart from the medium, some people may not because of the lies people tell online. Some lie about their age, height, weight, facial beauty, career, education etc. Anonymity is at its peak in online dating and this could endanger a careless user.

These flaws had made some people not to take online dating serious but just another whorehouse. How true is this? Can love not be found online? Is online dating really all about sex?

Let the heat begin!!!


  1. While its true dat alotta guys view online dating as a simple and quick avenue to get sex or nudes from a lady, I tink its also a viable way of meeting people and courting. With online dating, u cud actually meet a lotta people and get a feel of each one simultaneously. Dis helps wen pickin a partner as u can comfortably claim u kno quite much or little about a person over weeks or months of chatting, its also cost effective. The real life suation on the other hand, might not let u meet and talk to dfferent peeps seperately and simultaneously, its always one at a time. I guess its jus left 4 d person at d other end to decipher whose real or fake

  2. Online, offline, or whatever, has no guarantee
    when it come to any
    transactions: relationships, sex, love, business,
    friendship, you name it.
    The only answer I know that can help would be:
    Buyers be aware.
    Oh, by the way, it does not matter if the men are
    Nigerians or not. Men
    are men all over the world. Women are women all
    over the world. The twist or
    difference may be the extent or level of results.

  3. I know people who have found true love and marriage online and I also know those who have been lied to only to meet someone they would never have agreed to meet, had they known the truth, up front. I believe you are correct, the only difference between finding a parner or dating online or the personal way is the medium. People need to take care (extra care) as it is much easier to not be as up front online, but the truth will be revealed one way or another. I like your content.

    1. Thanks dear...
      Some people find it easier to be upfront with a faceless person because they feel physical confrontation will require much assessment. It's more comfortable to sit in front of your computer and say anything you want to say without hassles.
      Like I said, it's just d medium...

  4. Sure for guys the intention of online dating is mostly 80% for sex escapades. We can always look for real female partners around us for true love. This does not mean online dating cannot produce lasting r/ship so far as the individuals stated their real and actual attributes online. Quite often we tend to polish who we are and how we look online to attract the other person; and once you are like that you tend not to believe in what comes from the other end or medium. It is always embarrassing to meet your online date and find out they r deficient to requirement

    1. Lol!!! Reminds me of a blind date I had earlier with an online friend...was so disappointed to meet the opposite of what I was made to believe. I think most people thrive for social acceptance more online than offline.

  5. wow!!!!....we ladies are easily deceived wit d sugar coated words of ds guys online, meaning online dating is all abt SEX nd not being REAL to each other.

  6. Most people embrace the opportunity social networking sites have created for them to lie about their personality απϑ intentions απϑ as such, its almost impossible to find anything real online. I always tell people that the internet is the easiest, most fastest place to find psychos απϑ perverts... 9 out of 10 guys would almost always look elsewhere for a genuine relationship. Social network is synonymous with "let's get laid, nothing serious"
    Rymboxx Da Bawz

  7. "This makes me wonder if online dating is about sex since this is not the first time I've heard such comments."
    It's not first time I heard of such rhetoric either, Vay. And my take is, it always depends on the beholder's perception. To me, there is nothing bad about online dating, since I've seen many perfect affairs that come out of online dating. The issue is How patient you're before you put 100% trust to your online lover? How wise and reasonable you're to vet enough of your online lover? etc etc. Because, if you do your homework well, there is no threat on starting an affair online and finish it up on the altar...

  8. Tell your sisi to date them both....she should spend three days a week with one, the next three days with the other....and on the seventh day get some rest. afterall, God rested on the seventh day abi?

    But seriously what's it with ladies and this particular problem every now and then,when emotions suddenly supercedes every other thing and clouds the mind,is why it is always a dilemma for are generally good at shelving their emotions and go for the rational or logical aspect of the issue at hand. You will have to be a man to understand.

    As for the internet,boy oh boy,I believe there comes a time in every internet users' life where one exploit all kinds of oppportunities online,sex being no exception,but then again sex or no sex,guys will always be guys,and gals,always gals. The internet only 'revolutionalized' our ways..


    1. Reminds me of a girl i met online..all she wants is just sex. I love my life. I had to delete her.

    2. Are u sure u deleted her?(winks) lol!