THE THING ABOUT “I LOVE YOU”

We've heard it on many lips. These three words have the power to make you feel elated or downright dumb. It's been the headlines for most romantic movies and music, driving us insane to a world of fantasy filled with faint glimpses of reality which at the end of the day could be nothing short of a mirage.

These words have been spoken in moments of intense passion, be it temporal or permanent. This love phrase seems to have the antidote to melt a heart of steel like a candle wax, especially if one has been longing to hear the words. Unfulfilled promises are made with these words, virtues are lost by the mere mention of this phrase, hearts are twisted and tricked, and souls are renewed and shattered. This shows the potency of this magical love phrase “I love you.”

But then, what do people think or how do they feel when they say these words? What really prompts this confession of love? Does it spring from a genuine heart or a heart filled with deceit? Does it sprout from a primal need to satisfy sexual desires or a proclamation of love? And for the recipients of these words, what kind of emotion does this blatant declaration of love evoke? Does it give you assurance in any way? Do you feel the tug of manipulation when you hear those words? Do you feel the need to requite same words? Does it really interpret how much one really cares for you? 

To aggravate the situation, the words have become sufficiently available in our generation compared to the days of the old. Back in the day, these words hold more water than presently. They are sparsely used and when used, they really portrayed the speaker's true emotions, even if it's for a fleeting moment. But the same cannot be said of today, the phrase is even laughed at. Saying 'I love you' no longer prompt that feeling of elation, surprise and appreciation. In fact, one gets more guffaws than hugs. You become a 'mugu' when you use these words because those are the kind of people presumed to be fools in love. The accompanied response is always a hesitant smile or automated 'I love you'. If you are lucky, you could get a thank you or in mean cases, a hiss or obnoxious silence. One can never look more stupid if given this kind of response.

But this catchy love phrase is very tricky. If you say it to the wrong person, probably for manipulation, you are in trouble because they will haunt you down. If you don't say it at all to the one you love, you are taken to be unserious. Even when you utter this symbol of love to those who truly deserve it, they don't believe you. Some are so scared of these words, not because they can't say it but they don't want to be held responsible for breaking hearts or are unsure of their true feelings that they quickly opt for the alternative 'I like you'.

With the love season evoking fake and real emotions, "I love you" seems to be the getaway ticket for most people. Sadly, I feel these words are beginning to lose their value because of the way it's been used or abused. People use 'I love you' more to satisfy their selfish cravings than to convey the true meaning of love. Its allure to the human heart is slowly fading away and only few traces of it are seen presently.

Be it as a devotion of love or as a tool of manipulation, saying “I love you” to the wrong person is highly not recommended because it is suicidal.  Its effect on the recipient could be magical or despair. Imagine a horny guy telling a desperate single lady that he loves her. In her mind, those words would interpret a sign of commitment when all the dude really wants is to satisfy his lustful desires. No doubt, ladies love these words to bits. In fact, it gives a woman assurance and makes room for more bonding.  It is assumed by some women that men use this popular love phrase for selfish reasons. This has led to some ladies believing that the phrase “I love you” matters little to a man. It might have more value if there is no room for sexual innuendoes.

Similarly, a woman will profess these words if a man showers her with expensive gifts and luxury. Even if he looks like an ogre, once there is money available to oil the relationship, “I love you” becomes relatively cheap.

Saying the words ‘I love you’ could mean different things, both to the speaker and to the recipient and this depends on the context and value they both attach to the phrase.  

Here are some instances:

Caring for someone through the storms of life and having them say ‘I love you’ can be a sign of gratitude. But having the care giver say those words could add more value to the love phrase.

If a man quickly says “I love you” on a first date (no prior engagement) and you know deep within yourself that all through the night he’s been staring at your massive heaving chest. If you are not stupid, then you will know those words are a product of his lascivious desires.

 For teenage girls who are more susceptible to these words, (thanks to all the romantic movies and music that lure us into a world of fantasy with the love phrase), please never grant him the access to explore your garden if he is not showing any act of love. The phrase ‘I love you’ signifies more than a five minutes bumpy ride with your virtue gone.

I believe this self proclamation of love should never be a mere lip service. It should be spoken from the inner depths of the heart backed by genuine feelings. It should be given the utmost regard and must not be spoken carelessly. If you don’t mean it, don’t say it. But what does the word really mean to you? Share with me.

But you do know ‘I love you’ right? Happy belated Valentine!!!