When it comes to writing sexy romantic fiction, no one does it better like my Tanzanian friend, Amos Bwire. He never cease to amaze me with his stories. From its well-detailed plotting to the witty remarks and use of sultry expressions, Bwire is bound to get u hooked on your PC, laptop or mobile phone.
Just read this recent piece of his and I couldn't resist the urge to share it here.
Just for your Sunday; read and enjoy "Fighting Jezebel"
“I have won the tender!”
“What?" Remarked Elijah. “Are you kidding me?”
“No. I’m not kidding." Her voice overly excited. "My company has won it. I’ve won it!”
“Oh, what a great news! Congratula--”
“Oh c’mon…you are not that bad, Eli." She interrupted, her voice too sly. "I thought it would be a better idea if you'd drop by my office tonight
and, tell me that, face to face…”
“Well, I wish I could. But, you know I can’t.” His voice was lowered.
“Eish! Don’t tell me you’re still scared of me!”
Last time the two met in person, was almost two years ago, and she was the last person Elijah could be comfortable of meeting again. “Jazzy, you know I’m not scared of you…but you also know I can’t take the risk...”
A treacherous laugh heard from her end. “See? That's what I'm talking...coward!”
“Whatever, man. I just can’t be seen with you again. I vowed that to my wife. I can't break the--”
“Oh, really? So are you telling me that you want to see me but you are just afraid of your wife! Ololol!"
“Jazzy--!”
“Jazzy what?" She barked. "I just wanted to celebrate my best day of the year, with you, and you tell me you--”
“Hey listen--” Elijah was getting irritated.
“Four o’clock sharp…in my office, or else take a good care of your coward-self, Mr. Ciaoooo!” That said, her end of the line went off.
“Bitch! Who the hell does she think she is?” Elijah cried out to himself. And why does she hang up the
phone on me like that! He thought. His mood got restless...
___________________
Her wall clock read 4:45pm. There was no sign of him coming.
Pacing around her elegant office, Jezebel- a Group CEO at her father’s multinational construction Company- was getting nervous. I must have
infuriated him. Why did I...? Stupid!
Thirty minutes later and she was done. Angrily, she seized her handbag and was storming outside her office when her cellphone rang. She felt a thud off her chest. She fumbled with her Galaxy S3, almost
letting it slip off her hand.
“Where are you?” She shouted over the line without even checking on a caller ID.
“Hi Boss!” To her dismay, it was Othman, a Project Manager in her Nairobi branch. He called in to congratulate her. Jezebel had to apologize, desperately making up a story to brush off her gaffe. And while still online with Othman, her extension line rang.
“Hold on for a second, Othman! Have to pick this call…” She put down her
mobile and was on her extension line. It was Nasra, her PS, calling in to tell her that she had a male visitor. Jezebel responded, quickly, “Show him right through in, please!”
Then she picked back her mobile as the door opened and Elijah stormed inside.
As soon as she saw him, there was a momentous miscommunication between her upper and lower body. She whispered at him “Have a seat please!”
Elijah strolled past her wide-U executive-desk and to the Ola Sofa, far left of the spacious room. Beside
the sofa, placed a small bucket of ice and inside it was a sealed bottle of expensive white wine. There was a pair of tulip-shaped glasses beside the bucket. Elijah stood there for a moment, staring at the bucket. Shaking his head, he walked over and
to the glass walls. There he rolled the venetian blinds, wide open. He thrust his hands in his trousers’ pockets as his eyes surveyed down a congested Samora Avenue.
“So glad that you’ve made it…but you’re late!”
Jezebel said, approaching where he was standing. “Anyway, come give me a hug!"
Elijah turned his chiseled frame around and met with her embrace. Nothing would disturb him more
than being squeezed against Jezebel’s bosom. She gave him a tight hug and then held him at arm’s length, giving him an appraising look. "Is it raining
outside?" She asked as she spotted few rainy spots over his suit jacket.
"You know Dar weather, so unpredictable..."
"You should take it off and get dried--"
"Oh, no. Not now. Later." He protested. “And where did you get that?” He asked, his finger pointing at
the bottle of wine, trying to avoid any more confrontation with her. “I’ve looked all over the place for it, five days ago, and couldn’t get one.”
Jezebel ignored the question. Instead, she stared right at his face before she said, “You kept yourself in good shape, stud. Nice…hard.”
He forced a grin. “Thank you. You look fabulous too!" He meant it.
“Always!” Jezebel concluded. There was an abrupt mutual laugh. “Well, I've been working out for over a year now. Since the time you threw me off the window, I haven't really felt like going out and being around people, you know. So working out has been the only thing that gives me an excuse to get out of the house at night, without really requiring me to talk to anybody."
“But I didn’t throw you off the--"
"Yes, you did!"
"See, circumstances could no more allow us to--”
“I said you did!" Behind her coyly smile there was hidden emotions.
"Actually you did more than just
that!”
“C’mon, Jazzy, are we here to talk about that?”
“Oh, ok. Mr. Faithful Husband. Done.” And with that, she took off her fuchsia suit jacket and threw it on the sofa.
For a moment, Elijah stared at her. He didn’t like what he saw. “You didn’t answer my question...”
“Hum? Which question?” She rolled her eyes deceptively and saw him pointing at the bucket.
She bent over the table and picked the opener.
“Oh, okay! See, I like my boy to be happy," She quipped with a confident smile. "Go ahead, open it.”
He shrugged before he took the opener from her and opened the bottle. He poured in and handled a
glass to her. Seconds later, the two shared a toast.
“To your envious success!”
“Thanks honey. You know, the competition was so high. I’m glad I have won it.”
“You’re extraordinary smart…so relentless. I envy you for that.”
“Oh, don’t hype me, stud. I’m so ordinary…just one lucky woman.” She moved on to the sofa and her
hand gestured for him to come and seat beside me.
He did so. “Tell me, how did you make it happen?”
She summarized that whole tender process to him.
“Wow! You’re a dangerous lobbyist!” Elijah credited her as soon as she was done.
“Well, honey,” Jezebel blushed. “It takes 'some money' to make 'a lot of money.' Isn't it?”
"True that. True." Elijah said in agreement. "So, what's the plan?" He asked, less because he was curious, than because it gave his hopeless-self
something to say, and the wine had soon warmed the company.
"A Plan?" Her hypnotic eyes stared intently at him.
"Mh-huh! How do you plan to celebrate this?"
"Any idea in one of your big heads, stud?" She teased him in return.
"Oh, c'mon! I was just asking.”
"Oh, ok, ok. Just dinner with you, I guess," She said, brushing back a long strand of her naturally-dark dreadlocks, trapping it behind her ear. "Then Ifigured we'd have a drink and just talk a bit. I feel lonely. For over a year I haven’t really been out
much, seriously. I need to open up a bit."
Elijah smelt trouble…a serious trouble. “Oh! But you know, I shouldn’t ever be part of such plan."
“Are you sure?”
“Dead sure.”
“I see...” She conceded, nodding her head. A short silence followed, then she suddenly said, “Let's smoke some pot! I had some tacked in somewhere
here…Wait!" Simultaneously, she moved out and away from the sofa.
"A weed?" Elijah seemed as surprised. "Jezebel, you still on that?"
"Yeah. Not all the times, though." She turned around and stared back at him. Seeing his stunned face, she giggled, "C'mon, I know you do, either. Don’t you?"
“Hell no. I did quit doing that, way back! She won’t even share a bed with me if she smells that shit on
me.”
“C’mon, Elijah! Be a man that I know you are.” She taunted him. “Live your life, not your wife’s!”
Wordlessly, his eyes distantly hovered over hers. Unacceptable memories rushed right inside his head. Yes, in a course of their six months infidelity,
the two did share together just about everything imaginable. Theirs was unspoken fantasy-comes-true affair spiced by recipes that could compete for a top place inside hell’s kitchen. But the price that came along with his marital disloyalty caused Elijah a couple of irreparable damages, including death to his innocent 3-years old baby girl, in a car crash.
Such unfolded reality forced Elijah to shut himself out and away from Jezebel for almost two years,until recently when the two bumped at each other coincidentally while commenting on a common
friend’s Facebook wall...that took them to the inbox, one thing led to another, up to this informal "party" meeting in her office. “But I won’t smoke,” He shook his head, watching her strutting nimbly across the room.
“That won’t change.” The mini
skirt was hugging her body and extenuated her tall form and curves. He could see her rear cheeks’ movement as she strode onto her work desk.
Although Jezebel was tall and trim, she had a full ass-set that matched extremely sinfully with her surgical-enhanced breasts.
"Come on, it'll be fun, you know." She responded, teasingly, already working out a roll. “I'll make us a smoke. Pour me some more wine…"
Now back on the sofa, her devious eyes ran all over him. Her palm rubbed across his chin. Sniffing it
back, she complained, “Man, your aftershave makes me feel intoxicated!”
Her plea suddenly awakened him from unknown stupor, "Hum?"
“Uh-huh.” Her voice became wavy.
A couple of drinking and unnecessary updates passed on. Now, halfway on their second bottle, Jezebel declared, "Lord, this is too much, I need
some satisfaction!" She outstretched her hand, offering the joint to him.
Elijah held his breath. This can't be
happening... His inner-self battled. He hadn't smoked that for all that period after he announced the end to his affair with her. It's something he had
vowed to his wife and himself, not to ever do again in this life. Now he was overly tempted at the wrongest timing of all. "No, Jezebel. I told you I
can't."
"Don't be an asshole. Take it!" Then the realization hit in with her. "Oh God, I can't believe I just said that. I'm sorry!” She blushed. She was slightly
drunk and high. He could tell by the glazed look in her eyes. Also, that particular wine always had the
effect of making Jezebel completely uninhibited.
But Elijah never imagined she would act that way inside her Five-Star office. Even worse, he could feel
his own hormones starting to bubble. He couldn't keep his eyes off the mighty jiggling pair of boobs
and her lovely, hairy legs. "Shit!" He cursed out and grabbed the joint from her hand and puffed in a long one. It choked him, prompting her to giggle.
"Have you forgotten all the sweet things, darling!
Ndoa ndoana, huh?"
Intimidated, Elijah gulped all the wine left in his glass. He took another large toak of chron.
Seeing his eyes blazing, a contented smile displayed on Jezebel's face. Now I got my bad boy back! She thought.
“Damn, I can't do this!" As if to counter her thoughts, Elijah blurted. He collected himself and stood right in front of her. “I think I have to go.”
“Whuaat?” There was alcohol confidence in her voice. “Just like that?”
“Jazzy, it’s different now. I’m fully dedicated back to Abella." His voice was heavy.
“Oh really?” Asked Jezebel, taking him less seriously. “Okay…” She outstretched her sexy hands towards him, begging, “Okay…Let’s finish
our drink, then I’ll kiss you goodbye. Right?”
He thought for a moment, then his chest heaved in a deep sigh as he moved and seat back on the sofa.
"By the way, how's she doing?" She asked, a moment later.
“Mh?” He was a little lost.
She slapped him lightly, on his lap. "You heard me, stud.”
He stared blankly at her. A mixture of marijuana and too much wine was having an obvious effect on his logical senses.
“Your fat wife! How is she doing? Isn’t she happier-than-ever now that she has taken you completely away from me?”
"Whoa! Whoa! Firstly, my wife isn’t fat, right? She's just a lovely, sexy, pure African woman..."
“Really?" She took another deep drag off the spliff. Exhaling a chunk of white smoke.
"Yeah! And she’s doing pretty well, considering fact that she’s fully recovered now. We both have left
the past behind us. Moved on--"
"Eish! Am I the past you are talking about, Sir?”
"Jezebel, see--" He tried to explain but she cut him short.
"What? Look at you," Her eyes glued on his crotch as she said, huskily. "That's 'hugely' betraying your
words, Sir."
"Oh, c'mon!" The pressure was mounting. “You don’t get it, huh?”
“No, I don’t even want to.” Her voice was druggy, and before Elijah responded, her burning, smoky mouth engulfed his, her smoke hitting his throat.
He grunted. "C’mon Jezebel! Stop it.” He protested helplessly. “Your secretary is just next doors!"
"Shhhh!"
"Five seconds’ walk to--!"
"Shhh! I own this whole building. I own eeeeeveryone who works in here!” She declared, amid her intense kisses. She laughed hysterically,
her voice partly lost in his mouth. “And we've been quicker than that before, huh?"
Forcefully, he extracted himself from her embrace. But his facial and physical expression underneath
him, betrayed him badly. Then they heard a slight knock on the door. They stared at each other. As it
opened...
To be continued...
Sunday, 22 July 2012
Friday, 20 July 2012
FRIDAY HEAT: Who is to blame for teenage pregnancy? The media, the society or the family?
The rate at which teenagers get pregnant these days is quite baffling. It's like every caution drummed in their ears to avoid pre-marital sex has been drowned in River Niger. You see a 15 year-old girl heavy with child and you begin to wonder if she can go through the labour pains that accompanies pregnancy.
Nowadays, it's difficult to differentiate between an adult and a teenager. Young girls are eager to dress like adults, act like adults, and be addressed as an adult. In addition, the rate at which these kids mature is alarming. Back in the 80s and early 90s, the age when a young girl can start her menstrual period was between 13-15 but in this generation, you will see a 10 year-old girl already on her menstrual period.
Does early maturity contribute to this decadent norm in the society?
What about the society? Are things put in place to provide for these kids or not?
Then we have the media which role in the society include education? Are they implementing that role efficiently? Or the social media which has provided a platform for social interaction, how has it affected our teenager's perspective generally towards lifestyle and aspirations?
Thus, the question who is to blame for teenage pregnancy? Is it that the family is not playing its role well or what?
Is the media contributing to this in any way?
Or is the society we live in encouraging these kids to engage in pre-marital sex?
What is your take on this? Let the heat begin.
Nowadays, it's difficult to differentiate between an adult and a teenager. Young girls are eager to dress like adults, act like adults, and be addressed as an adult. In addition, the rate at which these kids mature is alarming. Back in the 80s and early 90s, the age when a young girl can start her menstrual period was between 13-15 but in this generation, you will see a 10 year-old girl already on her menstrual period.
Does early maturity contribute to this decadent norm in the society?
What about the society? Are things put in place to provide for these kids or not?
Then we have the media which role in the society include education? Are they implementing that role efficiently? Or the social media which has provided a platform for social interaction, how has it affected our teenager's perspective generally towards lifestyle and aspirations?
Thus, the question who is to blame for teenage pregnancy? Is it that the family is not playing its role well or what?
Is the media contributing to this in any way?
Or is the society we live in encouraging these kids to engage in pre-marital sex?
What is your take on this? Let the heat begin.
Monday, 16 July 2012
CASANOVAS ARE BETTER LOVERS
Dear diary,
There's something about casanovas that I've not been able to wrap my finger around on. Something about the way they waltz into a woman's life and turn her brains inside out, and dance out of her life still leaving her brains inside out.
How they do it, I can't really say, irrespective of their looks or age. And whatever charm they use, it takes a long while before it rubs off.
Just like the one sitting in front of me, Tony. I knew he was a player. It wasn't hard for me to tell he was-with the gold necklace glued to his neck, sexy smile, the arrogant air that surrounds him and the sugary words that flows out of his lips-he oozes sexuality like an angry fountain.
Why I always get involved with them, I can't really tell myself. I wonder if there is a sign on my forehead that reads: "Hey all ye players, I'm up for grabs!!!"
After my painful break-up with Chris, I promised myself I will never fall in love with his kind. But here I am, on the verge of repeating same mistake.
But I have to give kudos to all casanovas out there. I don't know how they do it but they really live up to their title. From the sweet-coated words that flows out of their lips to the charming way they get you in bed, you have to give them a thumbs up for the whole acting.
It is quite weird you know how they will go through that stress of making you happy and then dump you like you never really matter to them. Just like Chris did to me...
It all started with a simple hello. Typical of me, I shrug him off. Not because I met him at a bus-stop, but I knew he was too handsome to be serious with a lady. Almost every lady at that bus stop got their eyes on him as he offered me a ride in his Toyota Corona but I just had to play hard ball, just to see how far he would go.
And he didn't disappoint me. He stalked me for days until he finally got my mobile number. Then the calls started rolling in, followed by the text messages. All through the conversation, he never implied he had any intention to take me to bed. It was just an illustration of pure love.
On our first date, he took me to Golden gate restaurant at Ikoyi. From the moment we walked in, he pulled every female in the restaurant like a magnet to us. A pang of jealousy gripped my heart and I had this fleeting thought of insecurity mixed with pride.
Here I am in a luxurious restaurant with a charming prince and all the ladies are gawking at him, green with envy as he held the seat out for me to sit, poured wine for me, even fed me the vegetable salad we ordered for.
Gosh! Is this how Cinderella felt?
Then as if he knew I needed more conviction to say yes to his proposal, he had to sweep me off my feet by ordering a florist to deliver me a bouquet of flowers every evening.
He would pay for a cab to come take me to work every morning and bring me back home in the evening. I was in heaven and soon got my close friends green with envy.
Meanwhile, Chris never gave me the impression that he wanted me in bed, neither did he kiss me for once. It was just me dying for his touch, for him to even say something like "I want you."
It was so painful watching him being so nice without having carnal thoughts about him. There was this time I was down and he had to leave work to come take me to the clinic. Then he wouldn't go home but spend the night at the clinic till I was discharged the following morning.
Now tell me, what lady wouldn't fall for such charm. Once he tried to kiss me after a date at the cinema. Though, I longed for it more than anything, I restrained, giving him my cheeks instead. If he was disappointed, he masked it very well. He just shrugged and bade me goodnight.
The calls didn't stop, neither did the shopping and other niceties. It was heaven on earth with him.
I decided to pay him a visit one evening with one mission in mind: get down with him.
As usual, he gave me a breathtaking reception, from the sumptuous fried rice and shrimps he prepared for me to the therapeutic massage he rendered to my shoulders.
As his hands massaged my shoulder blades, a warm feeling spread through my nerves, making me feel all jelly.
Then there was that magic moment when our eyes met, and all sanity was lost as we devoured each other with so much sexual frenzy.
That was the beginning of our sexual escapades. It was like we couldn't do without each other and soon, we became the latest couple in town.
A month later, Chris told me he was travelling to the East to see his parents. A week's stay turned to weeks' stay.
When he returned from the village, his countenance towards me changed drastically.
The usual excitement that accompanies our meeting became dry. He became distant and that got me really worried. I even entertained the thought that maybe I have offended him in any way.
To make matters worse, he would go on days without calling me. And when I finally call, his response was always nonchalant.
Everyone close to me noticed the signs that I was unhappy and tried to cheer me up but I won't have any of it. I was dying inside of me. I missed Chris, I missed all the attention and loving he gave to me. At nights I will sit up, reminiscing on the good times we spent. Once or twice, I was tempted to go to his place to ask him what I have done wrong but my dignity usually stopped me. I just can't let him see me as a weakling for his love.
Three weeks later, Chris showed up on my doorstep with a dozen bouquet of flowers, looking as charming as ever. He apologised for his past behaviour, blamed it on some quarrel he had with his parents.
As a lonely kitten who had missed her master terribly, I gingerly walked into his arms. And the lost love was found once again. But this time it didn't last long.
In a matter of days, Chris was back to his old self, cancelling our dates and giving me flimsy excuses.
I became dejected, I felt I was taken for a ride. I knew then that Chris was not that charming as he had initially presented himself. It was a terrible heartbreak because despite everything, I still love Chris. I still want to be held in his arms, watch him feed me, hang out anywhere with him, listen to those lovely words of love and devotion flow from his lips, make love with him all through the night till we are sated.
I wish I had the strength to confront him, to tell him how much I loved him, how willing I am to right any wrong I have ever done to him.
I was such a fool for love.
Then the call came, it was from my girlfriend telling me she just saw Chris kissing another lady in a supermarket. I didn't believe her. It was so shocking to be true. Was this the reason he had been acting strange to me lately?
I wish I had the guts to confront him but I couldn't. I knew it was better for me to ignore everything and face my future. I will lick my wounds and forge ahead.
As if that was not enough, I saw him with my two eyes kissing a lady at a bar we usually hang out. Why I even came to the bar, I can't really say, just my intuition driving me wild.
Watching the way he dazed the pretty woman in front of him with his charm, I couldn't take it anymore. All the anger I had harboured inside fought violently for a release. I walked towards them, strutting the "don't dare me" look.
If I was expecting any look of surprise from Chris, I was highly disappointed. Chris pretended like he hadn't met me before, giving me that blank look. Even had the audacity to ask me if he can help me.
Without much ado, I rained all manner of insults on him. There was no stopping me, I raved like a mad woman. Not until I was pushed away by the barman did I realise how I have disgraced myself. I cried all the way home. How I survived that night was a mystery.
The next day, he came to my office and warned me never to ever try what I did yesterday evening at the bar again. If my eyes were guns. I would have shot him repeatedly but I thanked my stars that I had recovered from his deceit and hurt. With dignity, I called the security guard to walk him out of my office with a strict order never to allow him in the premises again.
Here I am, gazing at Tony as he tried to win my heart again with his well-rehearsed words.
What do I do diary?
There's something about casanovas that I've not been able to wrap my finger around on. Something about the way they waltz into a woman's life and turn her brains inside out, and dance out of her life still leaving her brains inside out.
How they do it, I can't really say, irrespective of their looks or age. And whatever charm they use, it takes a long while before it rubs off.
Just like the one sitting in front of me, Tony. I knew he was a player. It wasn't hard for me to tell he was-with the gold necklace glued to his neck, sexy smile, the arrogant air that surrounds him and the sugary words that flows out of his lips-he oozes sexuality like an angry fountain.
Why I always get involved with them, I can't really tell myself. I wonder if there is a sign on my forehead that reads: "Hey all ye players, I'm up for grabs!!!"
After my painful break-up with Chris, I promised myself I will never fall in love with his kind. But here I am, on the verge of repeating same mistake.
But I have to give kudos to all casanovas out there. I don't know how they do it but they really live up to their title. From the sweet-coated words that flows out of their lips to the charming way they get you in bed, you have to give them a thumbs up for the whole acting.
It is quite weird you know how they will go through that stress of making you happy and then dump you like you never really matter to them. Just like Chris did to me...
It all started with a simple hello. Typical of me, I shrug him off. Not because I met him at a bus-stop, but I knew he was too handsome to be serious with a lady. Almost every lady at that bus stop got their eyes on him as he offered me a ride in his Toyota Corona but I just had to play hard ball, just to see how far he would go.
And he didn't disappoint me. He stalked me for days until he finally got my mobile number. Then the calls started rolling in, followed by the text messages. All through the conversation, he never implied he had any intention to take me to bed. It was just an illustration of pure love.
On our first date, he took me to Golden gate restaurant at Ikoyi. From the moment we walked in, he pulled every female in the restaurant like a magnet to us. A pang of jealousy gripped my heart and I had this fleeting thought of insecurity mixed with pride.
Here I am in a luxurious restaurant with a charming prince and all the ladies are gawking at him, green with envy as he held the seat out for me to sit, poured wine for me, even fed me the vegetable salad we ordered for.
Gosh! Is this how Cinderella felt?
Then as if he knew I needed more conviction to say yes to his proposal, he had to sweep me off my feet by ordering a florist to deliver me a bouquet of flowers every evening.
He would pay for a cab to come take me to work every morning and bring me back home in the evening. I was in heaven and soon got my close friends green with envy.
Meanwhile, Chris never gave me the impression that he wanted me in bed, neither did he kiss me for once. It was just me dying for his touch, for him to even say something like "I want you."
It was so painful watching him being so nice without having carnal thoughts about him. There was this time I was down and he had to leave work to come take me to the clinic. Then he wouldn't go home but spend the night at the clinic till I was discharged the following morning.
Now tell me, what lady wouldn't fall for such charm. Once he tried to kiss me after a date at the cinema. Though, I longed for it more than anything, I restrained, giving him my cheeks instead. If he was disappointed, he masked it very well. He just shrugged and bade me goodnight.
The calls didn't stop, neither did the shopping and other niceties. It was heaven on earth with him.
I decided to pay him a visit one evening with one mission in mind: get down with him.
As usual, he gave me a breathtaking reception, from the sumptuous fried rice and shrimps he prepared for me to the therapeutic massage he rendered to my shoulders.
As his hands massaged my shoulder blades, a warm feeling spread through my nerves, making me feel all jelly.
Then there was that magic moment when our eyes met, and all sanity was lost as we devoured each other with so much sexual frenzy.
That was the beginning of our sexual escapades. It was like we couldn't do without each other and soon, we became the latest couple in town.
A month later, Chris told me he was travelling to the East to see his parents. A week's stay turned to weeks' stay.
When he returned from the village, his countenance towards me changed drastically.
The usual excitement that accompanies our meeting became dry. He became distant and that got me really worried. I even entertained the thought that maybe I have offended him in any way.
To make matters worse, he would go on days without calling me. And when I finally call, his response was always nonchalant.
Everyone close to me noticed the signs that I was unhappy and tried to cheer me up but I won't have any of it. I was dying inside of me. I missed Chris, I missed all the attention and loving he gave to me. At nights I will sit up, reminiscing on the good times we spent. Once or twice, I was tempted to go to his place to ask him what I have done wrong but my dignity usually stopped me. I just can't let him see me as a weakling for his love.
Three weeks later, Chris showed up on my doorstep with a dozen bouquet of flowers, looking as charming as ever. He apologised for his past behaviour, blamed it on some quarrel he had with his parents.
As a lonely kitten who had missed her master terribly, I gingerly walked into his arms. And the lost love was found once again. But this time it didn't last long.
In a matter of days, Chris was back to his old self, cancelling our dates and giving me flimsy excuses.
I became dejected, I felt I was taken for a ride. I knew then that Chris was not that charming as he had initially presented himself. It was a terrible heartbreak because despite everything, I still love Chris. I still want to be held in his arms, watch him feed me, hang out anywhere with him, listen to those lovely words of love and devotion flow from his lips, make love with him all through the night till we are sated.
I wish I had the strength to confront him, to tell him how much I loved him, how willing I am to right any wrong I have ever done to him.
I was such a fool for love.
Then the call came, it was from my girlfriend telling me she just saw Chris kissing another lady in a supermarket. I didn't believe her. It was so shocking to be true. Was this the reason he had been acting strange to me lately?
I wish I had the guts to confront him but I couldn't. I knew it was better for me to ignore everything and face my future. I will lick my wounds and forge ahead.
As if that was not enough, I saw him with my two eyes kissing a lady at a bar we usually hang out. Why I even came to the bar, I can't really say, just my intuition driving me wild.
Watching the way he dazed the pretty woman in front of him with his charm, I couldn't take it anymore. All the anger I had harboured inside fought violently for a release. I walked towards them, strutting the "don't dare me" look.
If I was expecting any look of surprise from Chris, I was highly disappointed. Chris pretended like he hadn't met me before, giving me that blank look. Even had the audacity to ask me if he can help me.
Without much ado, I rained all manner of insults on him. There was no stopping me, I raved like a mad woman. Not until I was pushed away by the barman did I realise how I have disgraced myself. I cried all the way home. How I survived that night was a mystery.
The next day, he came to my office and warned me never to ever try what I did yesterday evening at the bar again. If my eyes were guns. I would have shot him repeatedly but I thanked my stars that I had recovered from his deceit and hurt. With dignity, I called the security guard to walk him out of my office with a strict order never to allow him in the premises again.
Here I am, gazing at Tony as he tried to win my heart again with his well-rehearsed words.
What do I do diary?
Tuesday, 3 July 2012
WHY I CHOSE ABSTINENCE...
I have always thought I was smart when it comes to sex. I would beat my chest and brag to my friends (those who care to listen) that nothing can make me fall victim of sex; be it pregnancy or STDS. That was how meticulous I was when it comes to sex.
Right from my puberty age, I had always being intrigued by sex, thus when I first had it, I knew I had to play it safe if I don't want to hate it. Unlike what we read in books or watch in movies, first time sex is awful... Maybe it's just me but the day I lost my virginity was a hell of a day to me.
However, I made sure whoever my partner was, be it a fling or someone I'm currently dating, uses a condom. Even when we are done, I have to pour water in the condom to ensure there has been no leakage because I couldn't bear the thought of being pregnant.
Despite all my cautious steps, I still found myself pregnant. I was perplexed when the result came out positive. How could it have happened? There was no way I was pregnant. We used protection and I never felt anything flow inside of me.
True, I had been carried away with the passion last time with Femi, a banker I met at Shoprite at Surulere. We had this amazing chemistry on our first date, thus it wasn't a big deal to me to get in bed with him on our fourth date.
It didn't dawn on me to go for a pregnancy test until I noticed the tenderness of my breast. As a precaution, I made it a routine to study my body for any unusual body changes.
That is the disadvantage of pre-marital sex for me. Whether I had safe sex or not, there is this nagging thought that something might have gone wrong. Peace of mind totally eludes me until I see those unfriendly bloody flow. I was always edgy and anxious, afraid that something might have gone wrong. Contraceptives was out of the way since I hate taking drugs. It was either safe sex or nothing. Thus, whenever I felt funny, I would quickly visit the clinic for a pregnancy test or a get a pregnancy strip from a pharmacy store and carry out the test myself, which was much quicker. At the back of mind though, I knew I was not pregnant but sometimes I get this funny feeling that something might have gone wrong during the heat of the passion. Though I have always been proved wrong until now.
Still unable to believe the pregnancy test result, I visited another clinic and it was confirmed that I was pregnant. I couldn't believe I was, I had carried out a urine pregnancy test two weeks ago and it had been negative. How could I be pregnant?
As much as I wanted to believe that there had been a mix up somewhere, I knew I was pregnant. I had missed my period and my breast was tender. This alone was a sign of early pregnancy. Drat! I cussed. How could I have been beaten to my own game. I quickly called Femi to let him know of my latest body status and he told me he will see me later in the evening.
That evening, he didn't show up but called to say that he was working late.
I was furious. I couldn't sleep, eat or think properly. All that kept ringing in my head was what will become of me. How will my parents feel if they found out that their 17 year old daughter is pregnant. It was bound to be hell for me. My dad will definitely disown me. There is no argument in that. Being a well respected deacon in the church, my being pregnant will certainly dent his reputation in the church. My mum won't be that mad but she won't be happy either.
I checked through my period calendar and prayed that a miracle would happen. That my period would appear somehow. I have never been desperate for my period like I was at the moment. I, that usually pray the monthly visitor will not show up for a while due to the cramps that accompanies it now wish for it more than anything ever.
For days I found myself moody, unable to do anything, confused and just distraught. Meanwhile, Femi had told me he was cool with whatever decision I made but I should keep marriage out of it since he is not ready to ply that road yet. I was mad at him. The nonchalant way he told me about his decision got me more infuriated. Was this the "I love you" he was singing to me few weeks ago while he was thrusting in and out of my tunnel? To even make matters worse, he left me at the bar to go watch a football match with his friends. I never felt so stupid in my life as I watch him walk away from "our" responsibility.
While I was busy worrying my big head on what to do, Femi was busy having the time of his life. He would club, hang out with friends, go to work and come back home with nothing to worry about while I, on the hand can't seem to do anything. If I'm not thinking of how to handle my situation, I'm working hard to act normal so that my parents won't notice my body change. I couldn't even hang out with my friends for fear that they might tell on me if not laugh at me. I was in my own world and the stupid idiot who was responsible for it was somewhere having the fun of his life.
I will fringe when I see a mother nursing her baby. I even avoided looking at the baby for fear of guilt. It's like the baby would point an accusing finger at me and tell the whole world that I'm carrying a child. Psychologically, I was losing it. I ponder on how my life would be if I should keep the baby. Though Femi has given his word that he would take care of me but I just don't have faith in his words. If his recent attitude was anything to go by, I think I will be more comfortable on my own. I will spend hours online reading articles on pregnancy and abortion, wondering how I will fit into the society as a "teenage mom."
That, definitely was not in my picture.
After much deliberation, I decided to abort the baby. I couldn't bear the thought of raising a child alone. I was just a teenager, I have no source of income. What would become of my education, career and especially my reputation in the family? I will become the bad egg of the family. How will I cater for my baby? My dad certainly won't lend me a hand. My mum may, but for how long? How will I juggle my education and child together. One thing I was very certain of was that if I had this child, he or she will never lack of love. But the child also needs food, clothes, shelter, how am I supposed to get all these for my child? All these thoughts led me to take the decision on abortion. I just couldn't take it. It was risky I know but I rather do it at this early stage than later.
But as fate would have it, I had a miscarriage two weeks later.
I had a big fall down the staircase on my way to turn the generator on one night and sprained my ankle in the process. At first, I never felt any pain or thought the fall would affect my unborn child in any way until two days later. I had this miserable pain in my lower abdomen. It was as if I wanted to poop but the pain kept cutting through my pelvic region on the right hand side. I was so scared to even cry out for help, all in an attempt to keep the secret away from my parents.
I couldn't sleep that night, I had to call Femi to come but the idiot didn't show up, told me he was far away from home.
Ever since I broke the news of my pregnancy to him, he had been avoiding me, not that I expected more from him, but a little caring wouldn't be a bad idea.
When the pain became unbearable, I had to run to my mum for help. My mum got me some pain killers and sedatives that night so that I could sleep. By morning, the pain had subsided but I woke up to find dirty dry blood stains on my panties. Been a naïve girl, I didn't know what could have happened to me, I just ignored it, thinking maybe it was a dirty blood getting out of my system until late at night when I started bleeding. It now occurred to me to visit my doctor for fear of losing the child.
Since it was late, I had to wait till the following morning to visit the hospital where it was confirmed that I have had an early miscarriage. I was relieved and sad at the same time. Relieved that I didn't have to go through the whole abortion process but sad that I had lost my first child.
I called Femi to tell him the latest update and begged him to come stay with me while the evacuation is carried out but Femi as usual gave me another flimsy excuse. I went into that theatre alone, bore the pain without a hand to reach out to or a soothing voice to assure me that everything will be alright.
It was then I made a decision to abstain from sex. Here I am, paying for the sins I committed with a partner, alone. Was the sex really worth all this pain I'm going through right now? What if I gave up the ghost right now, is this how my destiny will end? Where is the so-called man who used to adore me? Probably hanging out with his friends or maybe sleeping with another girl right now. And here I am, going through this pain, this horrible experience in my life. I shut my eyes as the doctor drill more blood out of my womb.
On my way back home, though on wobbly knees after taking a shot of vitamin K to stop me from bleeding more, I reflected on the advantages of abstinence: I won't have to worry about my period or diseases. I won't have to go jumpy if I don't see my period, I will have peace of mind because I know with or without condom, I can never be pregnant.
"No sex, No pregnancy!" kept ringing in my head throughout the journey.
On getting home, I made posters of my new slogan for life all over my room to remind me that pre-marital sex wasn't worth it at all. I will rather save it than play safe and still be caught in the game. As for that idiot called Femi, he is already history to me. I just hope the next girl on his list will be wiser than me.
Six months counting, I have not had sexual intercourse with any man. No matter how sexually aroused I may be, once I remember what I went through in that clinic 'alone', I knew I will be safe without the trouble of unwanted pregnancy or STDs!
To all the teenage girls out there, let this be your watchword: No sex, No pregnancy!
DISCLAIMER:
The above story is fiction and does not relate to any real-life character. Any similarity to reality is a mere coincidence.
Right from my puberty age, I had always being intrigued by sex, thus when I first had it, I knew I had to play it safe if I don't want to hate it. Unlike what we read in books or watch in movies, first time sex is awful... Maybe it's just me but the day I lost my virginity was a hell of a day to me.
However, I made sure whoever my partner was, be it a fling or someone I'm currently dating, uses a condom. Even when we are done, I have to pour water in the condom to ensure there has been no leakage because I couldn't bear the thought of being pregnant.
Despite all my cautious steps, I still found myself pregnant. I was perplexed when the result came out positive. How could it have happened? There was no way I was pregnant. We used protection and I never felt anything flow inside of me.
True, I had been carried away with the passion last time with Femi, a banker I met at Shoprite at Surulere. We had this amazing chemistry on our first date, thus it wasn't a big deal to me to get in bed with him on our fourth date.
It didn't dawn on me to go for a pregnancy test until I noticed the tenderness of my breast. As a precaution, I made it a routine to study my body for any unusual body changes.
That is the disadvantage of pre-marital sex for me. Whether I had safe sex or not, there is this nagging thought that something might have gone wrong. Peace of mind totally eludes me until I see those unfriendly bloody flow. I was always edgy and anxious, afraid that something might have gone wrong. Contraceptives was out of the way since I hate taking drugs. It was either safe sex or nothing. Thus, whenever I felt funny, I would quickly visit the clinic for a pregnancy test or a get a pregnancy strip from a pharmacy store and carry out the test myself, which was much quicker. At the back of mind though, I knew I was not pregnant but sometimes I get this funny feeling that something might have gone wrong during the heat of the passion. Though I have always been proved wrong until now.
Still unable to believe the pregnancy test result, I visited another clinic and it was confirmed that I was pregnant. I couldn't believe I was, I had carried out a urine pregnancy test two weeks ago and it had been negative. How could I be pregnant?
As much as I wanted to believe that there had been a mix up somewhere, I knew I was pregnant. I had missed my period and my breast was tender. This alone was a sign of early pregnancy. Drat! I cussed. How could I have been beaten to my own game. I quickly called Femi to let him know of my latest body status and he told me he will see me later in the evening.
That evening, he didn't show up but called to say that he was working late.
I was furious. I couldn't sleep, eat or think properly. All that kept ringing in my head was what will become of me. How will my parents feel if they found out that their 17 year old daughter is pregnant. It was bound to be hell for me. My dad will definitely disown me. There is no argument in that. Being a well respected deacon in the church, my being pregnant will certainly dent his reputation in the church. My mum won't be that mad but she won't be happy either.
I checked through my period calendar and prayed that a miracle would happen. That my period would appear somehow. I have never been desperate for my period like I was at the moment. I, that usually pray the monthly visitor will not show up for a while due to the cramps that accompanies it now wish for it more than anything ever.
For days I found myself moody, unable to do anything, confused and just distraught. Meanwhile, Femi had told me he was cool with whatever decision I made but I should keep marriage out of it since he is not ready to ply that road yet. I was mad at him. The nonchalant way he told me about his decision got me more infuriated. Was this the "I love you" he was singing to me few weeks ago while he was thrusting in and out of my tunnel? To even make matters worse, he left me at the bar to go watch a football match with his friends. I never felt so stupid in my life as I watch him walk away from "our" responsibility.
While I was busy worrying my big head on what to do, Femi was busy having the time of his life. He would club, hang out with friends, go to work and come back home with nothing to worry about while I, on the hand can't seem to do anything. If I'm not thinking of how to handle my situation, I'm working hard to act normal so that my parents won't notice my body change. I couldn't even hang out with my friends for fear that they might tell on me if not laugh at me. I was in my own world and the stupid idiot who was responsible for it was somewhere having the fun of his life.
I will fringe when I see a mother nursing her baby. I even avoided looking at the baby for fear of guilt. It's like the baby would point an accusing finger at me and tell the whole world that I'm carrying a child. Psychologically, I was losing it. I ponder on how my life would be if I should keep the baby. Though Femi has given his word that he would take care of me but I just don't have faith in his words. If his recent attitude was anything to go by, I think I will be more comfortable on my own. I will spend hours online reading articles on pregnancy and abortion, wondering how I will fit into the society as a "teenage mom."
That, definitely was not in my picture.
After much deliberation, I decided to abort the baby. I couldn't bear the thought of raising a child alone. I was just a teenager, I have no source of income. What would become of my education, career and especially my reputation in the family? I will become the bad egg of the family. How will I cater for my baby? My dad certainly won't lend me a hand. My mum may, but for how long? How will I juggle my education and child together. One thing I was very certain of was that if I had this child, he or she will never lack of love. But the child also needs food, clothes, shelter, how am I supposed to get all these for my child? All these thoughts led me to take the decision on abortion. I just couldn't take it. It was risky I know but I rather do it at this early stage than later.
But as fate would have it, I had a miscarriage two weeks later.
I had a big fall down the staircase on my way to turn the generator on one night and sprained my ankle in the process. At first, I never felt any pain or thought the fall would affect my unborn child in any way until two days later. I had this miserable pain in my lower abdomen. It was as if I wanted to poop but the pain kept cutting through my pelvic region on the right hand side. I was so scared to even cry out for help, all in an attempt to keep the secret away from my parents.
I couldn't sleep that night, I had to call Femi to come but the idiot didn't show up, told me he was far away from home.
Ever since I broke the news of my pregnancy to him, he had been avoiding me, not that I expected more from him, but a little caring wouldn't be a bad idea.
When the pain became unbearable, I had to run to my mum for help. My mum got me some pain killers and sedatives that night so that I could sleep. By morning, the pain had subsided but I woke up to find dirty dry blood stains on my panties. Been a naïve girl, I didn't know what could have happened to me, I just ignored it, thinking maybe it was a dirty blood getting out of my system until late at night when I started bleeding. It now occurred to me to visit my doctor for fear of losing the child.
Since it was late, I had to wait till the following morning to visit the hospital where it was confirmed that I have had an early miscarriage. I was relieved and sad at the same time. Relieved that I didn't have to go through the whole abortion process but sad that I had lost my first child.
I called Femi to tell him the latest update and begged him to come stay with me while the evacuation is carried out but Femi as usual gave me another flimsy excuse. I went into that theatre alone, bore the pain without a hand to reach out to or a soothing voice to assure me that everything will be alright.
It was then I made a decision to abstain from sex. Here I am, paying for the sins I committed with a partner, alone. Was the sex really worth all this pain I'm going through right now? What if I gave up the ghost right now, is this how my destiny will end? Where is the so-called man who used to adore me? Probably hanging out with his friends or maybe sleeping with another girl right now. And here I am, going through this pain, this horrible experience in my life. I shut my eyes as the doctor drill more blood out of my womb.
On my way back home, though on wobbly knees after taking a shot of vitamin K to stop me from bleeding more, I reflected on the advantages of abstinence: I won't have to worry about my period or diseases. I won't have to go jumpy if I don't see my period, I will have peace of mind because I know with or without condom, I can never be pregnant.
"No sex, No pregnancy!" kept ringing in my head throughout the journey.
On getting home, I made posters of my new slogan for life all over my room to remind me that pre-marital sex wasn't worth it at all. I will rather save it than play safe and still be caught in the game. As for that idiot called Femi, he is already history to me. I just hope the next girl on his list will be wiser than me.
Six months counting, I have not had sexual intercourse with any man. No matter how sexually aroused I may be, once I remember what I went through in that clinic 'alone', I knew I will be safe without the trouble of unwanted pregnancy or STDs!
To all the teenage girls out there, let this be your watchword: No sex, No pregnancy!
DISCLAIMER:
The above story is fiction and does not relate to any real-life character. Any similarity to reality is a mere coincidence.
Monday, 2 July 2012
HERE COMES THE RAIN!!!
It's that time of the year when the heavens opens and pours our showers of blessings. I guess not everyone is excited about the rains like I am; talk about flood and traffic. I'm sure some people fast for days and nights so that the rain will not come down. (and hey... What's that superstition about some wise men holding back the rain, is it for real?)
However the case may be, I love the rain. It gives me an orgasmic thrill. Just to hear those platters of rain splashing on my window panes, or watching the lovely drops form the love heart as they splatter on the ground...gosh!!!I love this feeling.
The rain also bring sweet memories for me. Talk about those magical moments you share with someone who truly adore you. The kiss, the tease, the undressing, the foreplay and then the real thing. But these memories hurt more when you are all alone. You are only left with your teddy bear or pillow to hug (and if you don't have any of this, you can hug your wrapper).
In times like this, be it at the office or at home, I got good music to keep me company.
If the rain gives me orgasm, music gives me more than orgasm. And when I mix two of them, you can imagine the inexorable pleasure I can derive.
It would be stingy of me not to share this beautiful love songs to lighten up your day. I know some people are still caught up in traffic, and if you have an insensitive boss, I can imagine your frustration. Or you got a leaking roof (I actually do, but hey, life goes on), maybe you've been up for a while, mopping the floor or placing buckets all over the hall to avoid having a small stream in your room. Or you live in a flooded area and have to swim your way out. Pele!
Here are some love songs to put a smile on your face.
These songs can be downloaded from www.mp3skull.com
1. "I love you" by Debelah Morgan
2. "Oxygen" by Spice girls
3. "And it feels like" by LeAnn Rimes
4. "I'll remember" by Madonna
5. "Dreaming of you" by Selena
6. "Everytime" by Janet Jackson
7. "I don't want to miss a thing" by Aerosmith
8. "I know what love is" by Celine Dion
9. "Love is all around" by Wet Wet Wet
10. "Back for good" by Takethat
11. "Said that I Loved you but I Lied" by Michael Bolton
12. "Next to you" by Jordin Sparks
13. "No you hang up" by Shayne wards
14. "Crash and Burn" by Savage Garden
15. "Breathe again" by Toni Braxton
16. "Rain" by Madonna
17. "Say it Again" by Natasha Bedingfield
18. "Show me Heaven" by Maria Mckee
19. "kiss the rain" by Tracy Chapman
20. "One night" by the Corrs
Hope you enjoy it... Have a blessed rainy day!
However the case may be, I love the rain. It gives me an orgasmic thrill. Just to hear those platters of rain splashing on my window panes, or watching the lovely drops form the love heart as they splatter on the ground...gosh!!!I love this feeling.
The rain also bring sweet memories for me. Talk about those magical moments you share with someone who truly adore you. The kiss, the tease, the undressing, the foreplay and then the real thing. But these memories hurt more when you are all alone. You are only left with your teddy bear or pillow to hug (and if you don't have any of this, you can hug your wrapper).
In times like this, be it at the office or at home, I got good music to keep me company.
If the rain gives me orgasm, music gives me more than orgasm. And when I mix two of them, you can imagine the inexorable pleasure I can derive.
It would be stingy of me not to share this beautiful love songs to lighten up your day. I know some people are still caught up in traffic, and if you have an insensitive boss, I can imagine your frustration. Or you got a leaking roof (I actually do, but hey, life goes on), maybe you've been up for a while, mopping the floor or placing buckets all over the hall to avoid having a small stream in your room. Or you live in a flooded area and have to swim your way out. Pele!
Here are some love songs to put a smile on your face.
These songs can be downloaded from www.mp3skull.com
1. "I love you" by Debelah Morgan
2. "Oxygen" by Spice girls
3. "And it feels like" by LeAnn Rimes
4. "I'll remember" by Madonna
5. "Dreaming of you" by Selena
6. "Everytime" by Janet Jackson
7. "I don't want to miss a thing" by Aerosmith
8. "I know what love is" by Celine Dion
9. "Love is all around" by Wet Wet Wet
10. "Back for good" by Takethat
11. "Said that I Loved you but I Lied" by Michael Bolton
12. "Next to you" by Jordin Sparks
13. "No you hang up" by Shayne wards
14. "Crash and Burn" by Savage Garden
15. "Breathe again" by Toni Braxton
16. "Rain" by Madonna
17. "Say it Again" by Natasha Bedingfield
18. "Show me Heaven" by Maria Mckee
19. "kiss the rain" by Tracy Chapman
20. "One night" by the Corrs
Hope you enjoy it... Have a blessed rainy day!
Wednesday, 27 June 2012
"What has homosexuality done that is worse than the evils facing the continent today and beyond"...says author of Family affairs, IMAFI
Family affairs is an erotica written by IMAFI, the publisher of "Africa and Beyond" magazine,
in which he has published several non-fiction articles. He is an indigene of Edo state but live in the States.
His penchant for writing led him to write this amazing story about homosexuality with a twist of religion.
Click on the link below to watch the trailer on Youtube.
http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtnpvbp0hOBKLUM-mXMJWyQ?feature=mhee
IMAFI, in his book, delicately expressed the need for humans to embrace individualism in order to make the society habitable and free from social problems.He creatively highlights some of the problems faced in our modern family such as acceptance of one's sexuality despite one's religious and cultural beliefs.
The novel which plot was based on the main character, Reverend Shackles, tells a story about a devoted father and Reverend who believed his family was the typical family for his congregation to emulate, until he found out that his teenage daughter was a lesbian.
With gripping themes that surrounds the family and religious beliefs and value systems in the society, such as betrayal, unwanted pregnancy, rape, suicide, as well as the use of sultry and witty language, Family affairs promises to be a thought evoking and an emotional literary saga.
In an online chat with me, IMAFI shared his inspiration that led him to embark on such literary voyage. Enjoy!
What inspired you to write this book?
IMAFI:
I want to share my thoughts on the intolerance of all children of God against each other when there are many more problems facing mankind on a daily basis.
Is the story a reflection of your personal belief in homosexuality and religion?
IMAFI:
No. I believe we are all God's children and I also believe in the rights of individual to live their lives as they see fit. Again, religion should not discriminate but embrace all mankind.
How long have you been living in the States?
IMAFI:
36 years
Based on your long stay in the States, what is the acceptance level of homosexuality by the church?
IMAFI:
In public, not accepted or openly supported. Some are more understanding
but in general it's still a taboo. To some extent, its generally acceptable.
You focus more on the lesbians in your book, are you among those who think lesbians are cool but gay is a no no?
IMAFI:
At times, homosexuality refers to both gays and lesbians. I had simply focused on lesbianism to make my point about love, tolerance, understanding, and togetherness.
Some psychologists refer homosexuality as an abnormal behaviour while religious bulwarks especially the Christians see homosexuality as an abomination in sight of God, do you agree with them?
IMAFI:
No . I do not agree. Even Plato and Aristotle and many of their associates were wrong in their analysis of human behaviour. In the end, who are we to pass judgment on others? I think the Bible addressed that aspect of judge not...
As an African man, do you think homosexuality is a dent to our culture and religion?
IMAFI:
The question is "What culture?" How do we value the importance of culture? "Do we have all the facts that homosexuality was not or has not been part of our culture? Are we talking about the ones we know and many we may not know amongst us?My point is that culture or no culture, its time we respect individualism because so far, in my opinion, our society has not solve the ever mounting problems facing mankind.
In recent past, we saw pastors engaging in homosexuality while they publicly condemned it. Hypocrites.
Looking at the way Africans in the diaspora are against homosexuality and the kind of punishment meted out to people with such sexual trait, what's your opinion on that?
IMAFI:
I think these leaders should try to solve more urgent problems facing the continent. What had homosexuality done that are worse than the evils facing the continent today and beyond?
They should solve the problems of infant mortality, corruption, poverty, education, poor standard of living, citizen abuse, development, religious conflicts...and you name it
Like you mentioned in your book, the positive side of homosexuality, what are the steps you think can be taken to sensitize those who are against LGBT in Africa?
IMAFI:
Through education, love and understanding. Allowing individualism will go a long way too. We need to love one another starting from families, to those powerless to help themselves. In the world, there are many homosexuals who are productive just as anyone else.
In your book, you were agitating for "freedom for all" the popular US President political campaign slogan, do you think the same should be applied in the African community?
IMAFI:
Yes. It's time we move with the rest of the world. Its amazing that the same leaders rush to go abroad with their children, wife, and girlfriends, and yet criticise the same country for their progressive ideas. African leaders need to make a clear choice and stop using valuable time to publicise issues inconsequential to the society at large.
What is your own stance in homosexuality based on your religious background?
IMAFI:
I am indifferent. I respect individualism provided they do not abuse others based on their preferences. They are all God's children just as we, the so called "Normal" are children of God.
With such a controversial book like this, what are your expectations from the audience and critics as well?
IMAFI:
I hope they would open their minds and soul and make it a subject of discussion for mankind to accommodate, understand, and love....I ask for nothing more.
To purchase this book, click on the link below:
www.familyaffairserotica.com
OR
www.familyaffairsnovel.com
Thursday, 21 June 2012
SEX ON A FIRST DATE... Why he would ask you for sex on a first date.
Preparing for a first date could be a headache at times especially if you have been anticipating this meeting for a long time. You have to come up with the perfect dress or attitude. It's like you have to keep in check of everything you are doing. From your outfit to the way you smile and all other mannerisms.
But it's not all about your appearance or mannerisms that you are worried about. Other likely turn-ups such as sexual attraction may also make you jittery on a first date.
A first date in this context refers to the first outing you are having with someone you have met earlier or have a conversation with. You may have been having harmless conversations on the phone or through the internet, probably you have been sharing your fantasies online or sexting and just when you are about to make it a reality, you hear this conscious voice asking you if you are doing the right thing. Is this what you want from this date?
Then you start deliberating if you should allow him to kiss you, what extent can you allow him to take liberties with you? You are consumed with so much expectations and fear. You ask yourself what if you give in to this momentary pleasure, will it deprive you of the opportunity to enjoy something much better and lasting? Will he see you as a shag or a cheap lady? What will be his perception about you? And what if he never calls back? What if he never returns your call?
All these are the usual symptoms of anxiety a lady feels when she is going out on a first date with the most constant question being "should I have sex on a first date?"
The conventional advice is never give in on the first date, make him wait, sweat, frustrated and all of that shaky feelings. Let him know that you are not cheap or a shag, make him respect you, value you and appreciate you.
If by not sleeping with him on the first date will make him have a good impression of you, so what happens if you decide to have sex with him on the third or fourth date, will that make him appreciate you more? Will he always come back for more or take you down the aisle?
Chances are he may not call you back or maybe he will call you back. When it comes to sex, men are more sexually inclined than women. An average woman believes that having sex with someone they love takes the relationship to another level, tightens the bond they share, make them more inseparable.
Sadly, this is not the same for men. For a man sex is just what it is: sex! There is a clear difference between sex and love in a man's world. A man's love for a woman is not deepened by sex but a combination of other qualities as his sexual passion diminishes over time
When a man is on a first date with a woman, his demand for sex could be aroused by the following factors:
1. Past conversations: The type of conversation you have with a man before your first date will make him want to ask for sex on the first date. Probably he met you in the mall or in a bar or online and you exchange your number or BB pin or Facebook or twitter account username and get talking. Depending on the pattern of your conversation with him will determine if he will ask you of sex on first date or not. If you have given him the impression that you are the naughty type or probably the adventurous type, he will definitely want to try it out with you because obviously your conversation on the date will be channelled towards your ability to convince him that you were not just bluffing but are what you say you are.
On the other hand, we humans strive to make a first impression, thus exhibiting those fractions of our personality we want people to see. So if you go all naughty on him on the phone and act prudish on first outing that will definitely give him a false impression about you.
However, you may act all professional or natural on him in the virtual world and then go all mushy on him in reality. Then you will make him think that you were just acting and really wanted sex and this may also be a turn off except he is being taunted by that dark voice that says "grab this opportunity, good guys always end up losers" and there is a high possibility that he may never call you back.
The truth is that while we may not want to wash our dirty linens outside for the world to see, it's better we try not to be who we are not because whoever is going to like you will like you whether you give him sex on the first date or last date. It is advisable then you try as much as you can to decipher the character of the person you are hanging out with before you unzip your pants. If you think it doesn't matter to you if he comes back or not. Then be free to do whatever you are comfortable in doing.
2. First place of contact : Your first place of contact with a man will tell if he will ask for sex from you or not. If a man should meet you in the club, he will probably believe he has high chances of sleeping with you on a first date. Especially if he is sexually attracted to you on first sight.
However, with the growing trend of social media such as Facebook, BlackBerry, twitter and others, getting free sex has become easily accessible. These social media has provided the individual a veil to reveal his/ her perverse fantasies. Most people who spend long hours on the internet usually seek for free sex from other online users. While some could be upfront with it by sexting, others start with harmless conversations which are usually professional or social, then deftly manoeuvre into the sex scene. Some may not even border on any sex topic at all.
In the virtual world, never believe everything you see. People give false information about themselves just to get laid. That is why anonymity is a constant trend for perverse stalkers. Internet experts are constantly warning internet users to be careful about the personal information they put online because it is a porous medium.
Depending on where he met you, a man can choose to ask you for sex or not, be it on a shopping mall or at a party.
3. Your manner of dressing: Women are always confused when it comes to dressing up for a first date. They don't really want to look like a decorated masquerade, at the same time, they don't want to look like the beggar from the street. Coming up with the right dress that will send the right message is a top priority for a lady when planning for a first date. However, you may want to be sure of the kind of message you want to pass on while trying out your Armani gorgeous short red gown.
If you are dressed too sexy for a man on a first date, be ready to go down with him because men are more visually inclined to sex. You won't expect him to preach all the way without gawking at your exposed boobs begging to be sucked. A man gotta do what he gotta do...
We all want to look sexy for our first date even though he looks like Shrek. Despite all the pep talk about a woman's beauty stemming from her character, brain but not the appearance, a woman's confidence lies on the way she looks, if not they won't bother buying all the Macs and Mary Kays in the beauty store.
But dressing indecently will not make him have any regard for you. You can dress all covered up and still look sexy. Not till you expose your 50 pounds of flesh on your thighs or the sagging boobs would he get his lips licking. You can dress all chic and be sexy, not only that but will save yourself the exercise of slapping his hands when they stray to your boobs or thighs...
That said, it is absolutely left to you to decide if you want to have sex on a first date or not. If you think it will ruin your chances of having a relationship, then it's better you save it till you are sure your date got good plans for a future with you. But hey, if you are in for the fun... Be my guest and get your freak on...just have at the back of your mind that you ain't getting any younger...
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