CASANOVAS ARE BETTER LOVERS

Dear diary,

There's something about casanovas that I've not been able to wrap my finger around on. Something about the way they waltz into a woman's life and turn her brains inside out, and dance out of her life still leaving her brains inside out.

How they do it, I can't really say, irrespective of their looks or age. And whatever charm they use, it takes a long while before it rubs off.

Just like the one sitting in front of me, Tony. I knew he was a player. It wasn't hard for me to tell he was-with the gold necklace glued to his neck, sexy smile, the arrogant air that surrounds him and the sugary words that flows out of his lips-he oozes sexuality like an angry fountain.

Why I always get involved with them, I can't really tell myself. I wonder if there is a sign on my forehead that reads: "Hey all ye players, I'm up for grabs!!!"

After my painful break-up with Chris, I promised myself I will never fall in love with his kind. But here I am, on the verge of repeating same mistake.

But I have to give kudos to all casanovas out there. I don't know how they do it but they really live up to their title. From the sweet-coated words that flows out of their lips to the charming way they get you in bed, you have to give them a thumbs up for the whole acting.

It is quite weird you know how they will go through that stress of making you happy and then dump you like you never really matter to them. Just like Chris did to me...

It all started with a simple hello. Typical of me, I shrug him off. Not because I met him at a bus-stop, but I knew he was too handsome to be serious with a lady. Almost every lady at that bus stop got their eyes on him as he offered me a ride in his Toyota Corona but I just had to play hard ball, just to see how far he would go.

And he didn't disappoint me. He stalked me for days until he finally got my mobile number. Then the calls started rolling in, followed by the text messages. All through the conversation, he never implied he had any intention to take me to bed. It was just an illustration of pure love.

On our first date, he took me to Golden gate restaurant at Ikoyi. From the moment we walked in, he pulled every female in the restaurant like a magnet to us. A pang of jealousy gripped my heart and I had this fleeting thought of insecurity mixed with pride.

Here I am in a luxurious restaurant with a charming prince and all the ladies are gawking at him, green with envy as he held the seat out for me to sit, poured wine for me, even fed me the vegetable salad we ordered for.
Gosh! Is this how Cinderella felt?

Then as if he knew I needed more conviction to say yes to his proposal, he had to sweep me off my feet by ordering a florist to deliver me a bouquet of flowers every evening.

He would pay for a cab to come take me to work every morning and bring me back home in the evening. I was in heaven and soon got my close friends green with envy.

Meanwhile, Chris never gave me the impression that he wanted me in bed, neither did he kiss me for once. It was just me dying for his touch, for him to even say something like "I want you."

It was so painful watching him being so nice without having carnal thoughts about him. There was this time I was down and he had to leave work to come take me to the clinic. Then he wouldn't go home but spend the night at the clinic till I was discharged the following morning.

Now tell me, what lady wouldn't fall for such charm. Once he tried to kiss me after a date at the cinema. Though, I longed for it more than anything, I restrained, giving him my cheeks instead. If he was disappointed, he masked it very well. He just shrugged and bade me goodnight.

The calls didn't stop, neither did the shopping and other niceties. It was heaven on earth with him.

I decided to pay him a visit one evening with one mission in mind: get down with him.
As usual, he gave me a breathtaking reception, from the sumptuous fried rice and shrimps he prepared for me to the therapeutic massage he rendered to my shoulders.

As his hands massaged my shoulder blades, a warm feeling spread through my nerves, making me feel all jelly.
Then there was that magic moment when our eyes met, and all sanity was lost as we devoured each other with so much sexual frenzy.

That was the beginning of our sexual escapades. It was like we couldn't do without each other and soon, we became the latest couple in town.

A month later, Chris told me he was travelling to the East to see his parents. A week's stay turned to weeks' stay.
When he returned from the village, his countenance towards me changed drastically.

The usual excitement that accompanies our meeting became dry. He became distant and that got me really worried. I even entertained the thought that maybe I have offended him in any way.
To make matters worse, he would go on days without calling me. And when I finally call, his response was always nonchalant.

Everyone close to me noticed the signs that I was unhappy and tried to cheer me up but I won't have any of it. I was dying inside of me. I missed Chris, I missed all the attention and loving he gave to me. At nights I will sit up, reminiscing on the good times we spent. Once or twice, I was tempted to go to his place to ask him what I have done wrong but my dignity usually stopped me. I just can't let him see me as a weakling for his love.

Three weeks later, Chris showed up on my doorstep with a dozen bouquet of flowers, looking as charming as ever. He apologised for his past behaviour, blamed it on some quarrel he had with his parents.
As a lonely kitten who had missed her master terribly, I gingerly walked into his arms. And the lost love was found once again. But this time it didn't last long.

In a matter of days, Chris was back to his old self, cancelling our dates and giving me flimsy excuses.

I became dejected, I felt I was taken for a ride. I knew then that Chris was not that charming as he had initially presented himself. It was a terrible heartbreak because despite everything, I still love Chris. I still want to be held in his arms, watch him feed me, hang out anywhere with him, listen to those lovely words of love and devotion flow from his lips, make love with him all through the night till we are sated.
I wish I had the strength to confront him, to tell him how much I loved him, how willing I am to right any wrong I have ever done to him.
I was such a fool for love.

Then the call came, it was from my girlfriend telling me she just saw Chris kissing another lady in a supermarket. I didn't believe her. It was so shocking to be true. Was this the reason he had been acting strange to me lately?

I wish I had the guts to confront him but I couldn't. I knew it was better for me to ignore everything and face my future. I will lick my wounds and forge ahead.

As if that was not enough, I saw him with my two eyes kissing a lady at a bar we usually hang out. Why I even came to the bar, I can't really say, just my intuition driving me wild.

Watching the way he dazed the pretty woman in front of him with his charm, I couldn't take it anymore. All the anger I had harboured inside fought violently for a release. I walked towards them, strutting the "don't dare me" look.

If I was expecting any look of surprise from Chris, I was highly disappointed. Chris pretended like he hadn't met me before, giving me that blank look. Even had the audacity to ask me if he can help me.

Without much ado, I rained all manner of insults on him. There was no stopping me, I raved like a mad woman. Not until I was pushed away by the barman did I realise how I have disgraced myself. I cried all the way home. How I survived that night was a mystery.

The next day, he came to my office and warned me never to ever try what I did yesterday evening at the bar again. If my eyes were guns. I would have shot him repeatedly but I thanked my stars that I had recovered from his deceit and hurt. With dignity, I called the security guard to walk him out of my office with a strict order never to allow him in the premises again.

Here I am, gazing at Tony as he tried to win my heart again with his well-rehearsed words.
What do I do diary?