BELATED VALENTINE GIFT

HELLO EVERYONE,
It's been  a while since I came here, i think this is the first time in this year i'm posting something . Oh dear.... please do forgive me, I have been busy chasing things (Or is it the other way around?). Anyway, Im here now and I will be giving you all the spicy gist, tips and advice on relationships. but before I continue, happy new year to everyone out there and welcome to the month of March. Hope all your endeavours will be fruitful this month. i wanted to post this article on Valentine's day but I fell ill and couldn't post it (and it's not early morning sickness). So here it is, it was supposed to be my valentine gift to each and everyone of you out there. I hope you enjoy it....

 MAKE THIS VALENTINE COUNT!!!

     Love is a very strong phenomenon. It is very enigmatic and compelling. Many philosophers had tried to define love both in its simplicity and complexity.  Yet, there is no particular word or phrase that can encompass the true nature and depth of love. It is more than a feeling, words or thoughts. It is beyond the physical being of man but the existence of man depends on it.

   Though love is more than a feeling, it evokes a lot of emotions which are triggered by the subject’s valuation of the object. Emotions vary based on the perception and valuation of one’s character. Just as love is a feeling, so also are anger, fear, hurt, thus when the one we love hurts us, it triggers a feeling of despair, pain, denial, or bitterness.

    It is easier to sublime into a state of denial when we are hurt by a loved one or ostracize the physical and mental being from our immediate environment. It is possible to torture one's self in an attempt to cure the madness or impose a disciplinary action to teach one never to make a mistake of falling n love again. These feelings of hurt and pain can come from anybody, doesn't necessarily have to be the person you are in relationship with. This could be from a parent, a sibling, a close relative, a child or from a total stranger.

   A wife can be hurt by her unfaithful husband actions and may decide never to trust him again, a single guy can be hurt by his girlfriend didn’t return his love, just like a mother can decide not to care for a disobedient child. A person can be trodden with a load of guilt because he feels he is responsible for the pain of another.

   With all these feelings of hurt, it is easier to decide to stay away from those who have hurt us and forget about their very existence. We may not want to forgive them for the hurt, betrayal pain they have inflicted on us. Seeing that person or talking to that person could be poisonous to us because it triggers the painful memory of their lies, betrayal and hurt to the point that we are unable to stand them, thus, they cannot be forgiven. we delude ourselves that not caring or communicating with them makes it easier for the pain to heal.  

     We all are human beings and we have our shortcomings and foibles, no one is perfect thus we are prone to hurting people as well as being hurt even when it is not intentional. But does that make us less humans or stupid enough not to love someone? No, it doesn't. It just implies that we are more human. It is delusional to think that you will not be hurt by someone just because you are in love. Neither should you stop believing in love because you have been hurt by a loved one.

     To be able to love means to be able to forgive, not just forgive but also forget. Forgiveness goes hand in hand with love. Without forgiveness, one cannot truly embrace the depth of love. While it may seem cool to shut those who have offended you out of your life, it is easier to give them a forgiving pat and forget that they once made a mistake. No one is incapable of mistakes.

    The irony of holding grudges, resentment or bitterness against someone is that the person may not even know that you are angry with them. While you are busy fighting with your inner self whether to give them a call or send them an SMS or probably visit them r planning a sweet revenge, they are having a nice time. They may not be aware of your grudges and it may become embarrassing when they bump into you in the bar while you are hanging out with your friends, and you can’t share their enthusiasm because you can’t forgive them.

     Some people feel forgiveness should be justified when the wrong one is punished. Some see it as a debt owed and wait for the wrong one to apologize first. But love is not a competition.  For you to be free to breathe freely again, you just have to let go of the resentment and give room for acceptance.
      February is the month of love, it's St Valentine's day, a martyr of love. I want to implore you to make this Valentine count. Maybe you are still hurting from a painful break-up with a loved one, maybe your parents have hurt you badly in the past and this had affected your relationship. Probably, you caught your spouse cheating on you and you are finding it hard to forgive him or her, maybe your best friend betrayed you or you have a child who has been nothing but a total heartache to you. Whatever is the case, step out of your way this Valentine and forgive. Forgiveness heals faster than any other therapy because it erases all marks of pain. It gives you room to breathe freely. It makes you feel whole and loved again.

     It's just a few days to Valentine, go out of your way and get someone a special gift as an act of forgiveness. Don't allow pride to get in the way, you don't have to wait till they come crawling on their feet asking for your forgiveness, be the

first to do so. If you have vowed never to fall in love, let this Valentine make a difference, show some love to someone. Put a smile on someone's face and make them happy. Like the R&B singer, Katy Perry said, You are a firework, let your love shine this Valentine. Happy Valentine!